I’m catching up on some work in a coffee shop between meetings. And a stranger just walked up to me and said, “You look older in person than you do on Facebook and the internet.” How’s that for an icebreaker? You think I’m gonna forget her? I doubt it. I smiled and replied, “Thanks. I cram a lot of living into every day.” Things that our parents and grandparents used to tell us when we were kids are still true. Things like, “You only have one chance to make a first impression.” And, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Whether online or offline, people are people. Remember the things our elders taught us. They make sense. It’s very hard to go back and make a good first impression. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, …
You Just Popped In My Head So I Thought I’d Call
We all have times during the day when someone pops in our mind. These are great opportunities to build and strengthen relationships. Just for fun, the next time someone pops in your mind, pick up the phone and call them. You’re probably busy and don’t have much time, so start the conversation like this, “Hi Joan, this is Kevin. I only have a quick minute, but you just popped in my mind and I’ve learned that when someone pops in my mind, I should call and at least say hi. HI! Again, I only have a real quick minute, so maybe we can talk longer another time. Anything I can help you with real quick before I have to run?” People will be amazed that you took the quick minute or two to call them and they’ll be glad you did. With all the high-tech, many people are forgetting the …
What Happens In Vegas, Doesn’t Stay In Vegas
I’m staying and speaking at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas for a few days this week. I love Vegas and think everyone should get a dose of alternate reality from time to time. The saying “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, may have worked 20 years ago, but it doesn’t hold water now. The world is getting smaller and what goes around, comes around. Social Media is creating a more transparent world. This isn’t a bad thing. So do good things. Add massive value at every opportunity. Pay it forward. Because information travels literally at the speed of light. By seeking to serve, you create more opportunities to serve. And that’s true regardless of whether you’re in Topeka or Las Vegas. Sooner or later we reap what we sow. So sow good. We can’t outrun our character, and what happens in Vegas, doesn’t stay in Vegas.
Organic Growth Is Natural In Social Media
We can learn a lot from nature. In nature, few things grow extremely quickly. Things have their own pace and rarely spike in terms of growth rate. As you are growing your LinkedIn Connections, Facebook Friends and Twitter Followers, remember nature. Remember that slow and steady wins the race. And then remember that Social Media isn’t a race. Be leery of the folks who tout offers to “Grow your followers by 50 bajillion in 5 minutes” and crap like that. Be very leery. How unnatural. Yes, Social Media enables us to communicate with more people and much more quickly. But remember that relationships aren’t rushed. And effective Social Media is all about relationships. I don’t know exactly what ‘organic’ means, although I heard the word used a lot in business over the last few years. It’s one of those buzz-words that’s in style right now. I’ll use the word ‘organic’ …
People Are People Wherever You Go
I travel a lot. I get to see some amazing places and visit some incredible locations. I get to eat in fine restaurants and also at McDonald’s. I stay in five-star resorts and in fleabag motels. I experience a lot of contrast on a daily basis. And no matter where I go, there’s always one thing that’s consistent. People are people wherever you go. Regardless of whether they’re wearing a Rolex or a Timex, whether they’re picking me up at the airport in a Mercedes S500, or a rusted out Yugo, whether they’ve got a bunch of letters after their name or they can barely write, people are the same wherever you go. We all want to be appreciated, have fun, be loved and feel safe. We want to be happy. We want to make a difference. We want to have an impact. Remember this as you’re spending time on …
Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional
The only constant is change. What a cliché. And it’s a cliché, because it’s true. The last few years for most people have been a time of definite change. Some for the better, some for the worse. If you watch television news or read the newspaper, you’d come to the conclusion that we’re all going to hell in a hand basket, the country is collapsing and that the end of the world is near. Don’t forget that the news media gets paid to distribute negative news. Literally. And in-between the dire predictions you can watch ads for depression medication. Successful people know that success is a decision. And it starts with a decision to focus on the positive. Focusing on the positive, doesn’t mean denying that we’re in tough times or that if we just think about positive things they’ll somehow show up in our lives. It means realizing that …
Be An Example
The best way to teach is by example. This applies to everything including Social Media. People tend to become like the people they associate with and that explains why so many people are negative. But you don’t have to be. Just as in real life, when you’re a downer, people don’t want to hang out with you. The same applies to LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Post positive, uplifting things. This doesn’t mean that you’re some Pollyanna who denies that there’s a lot of crap out there. It means that you choose what to focus on. Be an example of someone who understands that people have enough crap in their lives and you’re not here to add to it. Be a ray of sunshine in people’s day. Regardless of the business you’re in. Because whatever business it appears that you’re in, we’re really all in the same business. The people business. …
Repeat After Me…..
Earl Nightingale said, “We become what we think about all day long, whether we want to or not.” This is as true as gravity. When I got into sales back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I learned early that sales is about relationships and not closing lines. I picked up Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and devoured it. I didn’t read it, I studied it. Read street signs. Read menus. Study books. And like most people, I often told myself that I had a bad memory. And lo and behold, I did. Reread that Nightingale quote above. So every morning when I got in the shower, I took one of Carnegie’s simple, one-sentence principles and repeated it out loud over and over until I got out of the shower. And then I repeated it while I shaved. And then I repeated it in my car on …
Want More Energy?
Energy is a valuable commodity. Personal energy is even more valuable. Dale Carnegie taught, “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” Criticizing, condemning, and complaining deplete your energy. Your personal energy is too valuable to squander. Giving sincere appreciation and expressing gratitude produce energy. And in an amazing bit of universal karma, they also produce energy in the people you appreciate and express gratitude to. This is not rocket science. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. In your business and personal life, give as much appreciation as you can and express your gratitude at every opportunity. And there’s no lack of opportunities.
Remember the Phone?
As you’re connecting with everyone on Social Media platforms, don’t forget that people are more than their static profile pictures and postings. Part of adding value to people is getting to know them better. As busy as we all are, we choose how to spend our time. Some folks choose to invest their time instead of spending it. We all spend time in our cars. Invest a little bit of time every day calling your Social Media-mates on the phone while you’re cruising down the road. Holy crap – did I say call them on the phone?! Yup, I did. Start the conversation with, “Hi Mary! I only have a quick minute, but I was thinking of you and wanted to call and say hi.” By starting with letting them know that you only have a tiny bit of time, they’ll know that this isn’t going to be a “War …
No “yes.” Either “HELL YEAH!” or “no.”
Derek Sivers has written a short masterpiece in his book, “Anything You Want.” He unintentionally started a business and ended up becoming a multi-millionaire by serving people. That’s what successful business do, don’t they? Serving people, that is. One of the things he talks about is the concept of ‘No “yes.” Either “HELL YEAH!” or “no.” This is a great thing to learn especially if you’re over-committed or too scattered. If you’re deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything other than psyched, jazzed and fired up about doing it, don’t. By saying “no” to many things it opens up space for you to pursue the things you love. This may sound over-simplistic. It’s not. The book will take you less than an hour to read. If you’re a small business owner or thinking of starting your own business, or pursuing a passion, this is required reading. There will …
You’re Farther Along Than You Think You Are
A client of mine in Canada recently sent me a news article on the London rioters using Social Media as a way to organize. Most folks have figured out that SM sites enable people to organize. Mubarak knows this. Gaddafi knows this. Charlie Sheen knows this. The interesting thing to me is that police departments and governments are just starting to know this. How long did it take before police departments started using the telephone after it was invented? The fact that you’re reading this post means that you’re probably farther along in terms of communication than many age-old entities such as the Post Office, local police departments, and many other institutions that have been around forever. I bring this up because I meet a lot of people who tell me that they feel like they’re being left behind with all these advances like Social Media, etc. Don’t sweat it. …
You Are A Creator
All kids love to make things. And very quickly we tend to start comparing what we’ve made to what other people have made and most folks determine that they’re not creative and that creativity is some magical ability that only special people are born with. What a crock. You are creating every day whether you realize it or not. If you’re not creating something physically, you’re creating experiences. Don’t poo-poo this. People who create experiences tend to do far better than people who create tangible items. When you get up in the morning, ask yourself, “Self….what shall I create today?” And then seek to make every human interaction with you magical. Pay it forward. Go out of your way to make people feel better about themselves. Under-promise and over-deliver. Show up early and stay late. Here’s the secret that few know: creativity is magical and only for special people. And …
Think Win-Win
Success is based on relationships. People who are truly succeeding know this intuitively. Nothing and no one operates in a vacuum. As you build your life, business, etc, focus on only participating in, building, and enhancing mutually beneficial, win-win relationships. The days of being a Rambo and leaving a bunch of bad relationships in your wake as you strive to “get ahead” are over. What goes around comes around and nowadays it comes around at the speed of light. Literally. If it’s not going to be a win-win situation, walk away. Run to win-win relationships and life is an exciting and profitable adventure.
Travel Light
Baggage is heavy. Physical baggage and mental baggage. Most of us have things in the back of our minds that are nagging and eating at us. Let it go. That may sound overly simplistic. It doesn’t have to be difficult. One saying that has helped me a lot over the years is, “Don’t believe everything you think.” This is radical and heresy to some people, but if you observe your mind the way you observe a cat playing with a ball of yarn, over time you come to the conclusion that you shouldn’t believe everything you think. Just as in traveling, the less you carry, the easier and quicker it is to pick up and go. Keep that thought in mind as it relates to dealing with people. When you meet people, even though you may size them up intentionally or unintentionally, observe your mind checking out how they look, …
Make People Happy
I appreciate the Harvard Business Review, The Wall Street Journal and the other 900 lb gorillas in the world of business credibility. They have a lot of valuable content that can help people with their businesses. But sometimes we get too technical in terms of trying to succeed. An interesting thing happens when you’re in business for a while and you ponder from time to time on what makes people and their companies successful. I sometimes have an annoying habit of reducing things to the absurd. So here’s one of my absurd reductions: successful people and businesses make people happy. At first glance this may sound obvious…but it’s not. Think of some of your recent interactions in stores, online and with people in a position to serve you in some way. Everything they do should be focused on making you as happy as possible. Did they? Making people happy isn’t …
Just Start
I think that one of the unintended consequences of information overload is that we tend to think that we have to get all our ducks in a row, all our “t”s crossed and our “i”s dotted, and every other preparedness cliché in order before we can start something. Don’t buy into it. The people who get things done are the ones who take massive determined action. Massive determined, well thought out action is nice, but not a prerequisite. Goethe said, “Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” He was right. More than likely, a year from now you’ll wish you had started something. Don’t worry about how to get from A to Z. Head for B and C will reveal itself. Take a small step. One step leads to another and then another. Don’t even worry …
Offer to Help Those Looking at Your LinkedIn Profile
One of the neat features of LinkedIn is the ability to see who’s looking at your profile. There are some limitations to this, but it can be a valuable tool if you use it correctly. It will serve you well to take a minute every morning to see who has been checking you out. How about sending them a message like, “Hi Mary, I noticed that you were looking at my profile. Thanks for taking a few minutes out of your busy day to check me out. How may I serve you in some way? I always seek to add value to all my personal and professional relationships. I’d love to help you in some way. Make me prove it. Kev :)” Now, you may be thinking, “Really? You would type something like that?” Word for friggin word, my friend. And “friggin” isn’t a cuss word, it’s a New Jersey …
Speak Their Language
Remember that everyone has “WIIFM” written on their forehead in invisible ink. WIIFM stand for “What’s in it for me?” I just returned from a speaking engagement for a multi-billion dollar financial services firm. They’re one of my favorite clients and I’ve been blessed to meet some amazing people there and they’ve introduced me to many other amazing people. I was speaking on using Social Media as a tool to add value to client and potential client relationships. There was a very savvy businessman there who said that he’s not active on any SM platforms and that he’s had many people try to get him on SM platforms. He and I shared a limo ride to the airport after my presentation. He very kindly said to me that no one had ever presented this content in a way that compelled him to participate, but that he was going to now. …
KISS: Keep It Simple Sweetie
Most people are super busy and don’t have the time to try to read minds. As you’re conveying information and value to your prospects, clients, and referral sources, remember that people want content in an easily digestible format. Many people try to impress others by attempting to look smart when they’re sharing information. Don’t do this. Keep it simple. Don’t worry about how they perceive you. Their opinion of you is none of your business. What does KISS stand for? Most folks will say, “Keep it simple stupid.” I disagree. It stands for “Keep it simple sweetie.” Oh, the difference one word makes. Always take the high road. Keep it positive. Convey information and value in simple ways. Ironically, the easier it is for people to understand you the more likely you will develop more “Know-Like-Trust” relationships. And that is sweet. Sweetie.