We hear in the media that opportunities are scarce and that these are tough times. Yes, they are tough times but there are ways to position yourself more favorably for opportunities. And some of the best ways have nothing to do with advanced degrees. I’m a big fan of common sense. And while I don’t claim to have the market cornered on common sense (just ask my wife), I have learned some things over the years. I think that one of the best ways to attract success is to do just a little more than the next guy. This is so easy that it’s almost laughable. Most folks are doing just enough to not get fired. They’re pretty average. Now, don’t think that this is a value judgment on people, it’s an observation. Everyone has worth as a person but many people act like they don’t realize it. We tend …
Be Enthusiastic And Attract Success
When we are kids we tend to have a vibrant appreciation of life. Sometime between being a kid and being an adult that sense of wonderment gets stifled for most people. That’s unfortunate, since adults are just kids with long, hairy legs. What does this have to do with networking or business? A lot, actually. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust. One of the key words in that statement is “like.” People like people who take a sincere interest in them. People like people who are happy. People like people who bring joy to other people. People like people who are likeable. Notice that’s “like-able”. When we’re enthusiastic, others tend to become enthusiastic also. Enthusiasm actually means, “God within”. But we’ll leave that for another post. Act enthusiastic, be enthusiastic. I’m not talking about bouncing off the walls …
Appreciation Makes The Difference
Learning to develop an appreciative attitude and expressing appreciation is a very important life skill. Being appreciative shows that we have an attitude of gratitude. In today’s busy world we sometimes forget how much we can be appreciative of. All we have to do is open our eyes to all the blessings that surround us. We’re mosquitoes in a nudist colony of abundance. When we don’t appreciate the blessings in our lives we probably have also forgotten some of the interpersonal niceties that make life easier. Things like saying please and thank you. As simplistic as it may sound, these simple words can work wonders in our lives. Our parents taught us these things for a reason. They’re a form of politeness and also a way to attract things into our lives. We get what we give. So when we are appreciative of other people they are appreciative of us. …
Do You Have Customers or Friends?
In business as in personal life we know that we should stay in touch with people. The old saying “Out of sight, out of mind” is really true. That’s why it’s an old saying. We do forget about people that we don’t see or hear from frequently. In a more and more hyper-competitive, over-caffeinated, Crackberry, 24/7/365 world it’s easy to lose touch with people and most people do. Many people are looking for ways to keep their name or their company’s name in front of people. My simple philosophy on this is “Be a friend.” Now before you think this is some starry-eyed, kumbaya, group hug post let me point out something. For the seriously jaded folks that think “we just have to keep pitching our product or services all the time”…how’s that working out? I’m guessing not so good. What’s that definition of insanity again? “Doing the same thing …
Always Be Connecting
There’s a saying that many sales trainers use quite frequently which is, “Always be closing.” If we’re “always closing” then the people we do business with will always feel pressure. Most people don’t like pressure and don’t want to “be closed.” Most of us want to be relaxed and comfortable in buying situations. And, quite frankly, in all situations. I prefer the term, “Always be connecting.” Knowing that all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust…connecting is a far better strategy than closing. And I’m hesitant to even use the term strategy. That sounds too “M.B.A.” to me. If friendship is a strategy than I guess I’m a strategist. I prefer to think I’m just a friend. As we take a sincere interest in other people, good things start to show up. Good things like job opportunities, referrals, clients, joy, …
Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want
I have been on a Dale Carnegie kick lately. Well, for the last 20 years. That's "lately" in a larger sense. A Carnegie maxim is “Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want.” People are far more alike than different. And everyone is pretty much like you and me: we are all interested in what we want. This is so obvious that we often don’t even see it. The fish doesn’t know that it’s wet. Everything you’ve ever done was done because you wanted something. The only way to persuade someone to do anything is to talk about what they want and show them a way to get it. There is no other way. As simple as that sounds it is something we overlook all the time. Arouse in another person an eager want and they will move mountains. Fail to do this and they won’t move an inch. As …
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
In keeping with my recent Dale Carnegie theme, one of the “Carnegie-isms” is “Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.” This is very important in all interpersonal relationships, whether online or offline. We should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. Remember the phrase: “the desire to be important.” It is very significant. Anyone can point out when someone has screwed up. Unfortunately, the only recognition that many people ever get is when they mess up. I suggest that we sneak up and catch people doing something right. Don’t flatter people. Flattery does more harm than good. Appreciation is sincere and flattery is insincere. One comes from the heart out and one comes from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. Think about people’s good points and we won’t have to resort to something as cheap and false as flattery. People aren’t stupid; they …
Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
Most folks know that I am a bit of a Carneholic. That's a Dale Carnegie-aholic. "Hello, my name is Kev, and I'm a Carneholic." Whether I'm speaking onstage on Online or Offline Networking, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter or anything else (and God knows I fall into some rabbit holes), you can bet your life that at some point in my speaking or training engagement, the Carneholic will emerge. This is because Dale's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has made such a major difference in my life. And not just my life, but a lot of other people's lives also. One of the Carnegie maxims is "Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain". This is profoundly simple wisdom. And something that should be taught to every child from the moment of their birth. We become like the people we associate with whether we're young or old. And most of …
We Become What We Think About All Day Long (whether we want to or not)
I had a great phone conversation today with an old friend. Remember that technology – the phone? Great tool. Anyway, we were talking about success, goal-setting and things like that. He knows that I read a lot of books on success, psychology, and personal development and he asked if I could distill in one sentence the essence of the many books that I’ve read on these subjects. It didn’t take me long to formulate a sentence. And it’s not originally mine. There’s nothing new under the sun, and everything is just a variation on everything else. So the sentence is “We become what we think about all day long, whether we want to or not.” There have been a lot of other people who have said this in the same or similar wording. James Allen said “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Or was that Jesus? I can’t remember. …