I have been on a Dale Carnegie kick lately. Well, for the last 20 years. That's "lately" in a larger sense. A Carnegie maxim is “Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want.” People are far more alike than different. And everyone is pretty much like you and me: we are all interested in what we want. This is so obvious that we often don’t even see it. The fish doesn’t know that it’s wet. Everything you’ve ever done was done because you wanted something.
The only way to persuade someone to do anything is to talk about what they want and show them a way to get it. There is no other way. As simple as that sounds it is something we overlook all the time. Arouse in another person an eager want and they will move mountains. Fail to do this and they won’t move an inch. As Carnegie said “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
Talking about our problems is a waste of time. When we communicate with people, let’s see how quickly we can get to view things from their point of view. The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve has an enormous advantage. He has little competition. Let’s be clear that this is not about manipulation. Each person needs to gain from the relationship. Long-term success in sales, marriage, networking and everywhere else is about win-win outcomes. Always has been, always will be.