There are certain kids that we don’t want our kids hanging out with. That’s because we know that they’ll be a bad influence. So at what age does this change? Remember that adults are just kids with long, hairy legs. We become like the people we associate with. Regardless of our age. Knowing that people are spending huge amounts of time on Facebook and other Social Media sites, it serves us well to remember that we’re associating with people online as well as offline. And we become like the people we associate with. Don’t complain and gripe if you’re hanging around a bunch of complainers and gripers online or offline. Of course you’re complaining and griping if that’s what you’re surrounding yourself with. Surround yourself with people who are inspirational and uplifting. Communicate with people who make you feel better about yourself. Spend time with people who are succeeding and …
All Relationships Start With “Hi”
Read books on interpersonal skills. Learn how to most effectively interact with people. Become a networking professional. Study how to be a charming conversationalist. But, let’s not over-complicate this. All relationships start with “hi.” Develop the habit of saying “hi” to just about everyone who crosses your path. Do it with a smile. It will change your life.
Tim Sanders’ Masterpiece
Since today is Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d mention a book that I read back in 2003 which changed my life. That’s not an exaggeration. The book is “Love Is The Killer App” by Tim Sanders. The subtitle is “How to Win Business and Influence Friends.” Tim explains how to bring your compassion into business. It’s not a sappy book. It’s profound in its originality and authenticity. I applied what I learned in his book to my business efforts and saw huge immediate results. The book actually steered me toward the course I’m now on around the world with my speaking and training. Tim was actually going to kindly write a blurb for my book “The Social Media Sales Revolution” but it didn’t align with McGraw-Hill’s editorial calendar. Maybe he’ll kindly endorse my next book. I’m intentionally not going into a lot of detail here on what’s in the book. Wanna …
People Skills Are Your Only Limitation
As we all become more connected, we’re finding exponentially more opportunities to impact people and organizations. This assumes that you are committed to adding massive value in everything you do. I believe that the only limitation you will have as you move forward is your relationship skills limitation. Let’s agree that your technical expertise in your chosen profession and aligning yourself with a good organization (or starting your own business) that offers a viable product or service at a reasonable price is just admission to the game. That just gets you in the room. In a world (use that guy who does the movie trailer voice) where finding talent has never been easier (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) the differentiator is no longer your technical expertise. Wanna get good at something – just watch YouTube. Anything in the world you want to learn is there. Just go to khanacademy.org, heck…MIT just put …
Rumi Was Right
“Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” – Rumi Rumi was a pretty deep 13th-century poet and Sufi mystic. I love reading his works. He must have been fun guy to hang around with. Let’s change the word ‘bewilderment’ to ‘gratitude’, and his profound saying becomes “Sell your cleverness and purchase gratitude.” Instead of trying to figure out clever ways of gaining followers on your Social Media channels, or burning brain cells trying to get more people to read your blog, or whatever, what would happen if you went on a rampage of gratitude? Everyone wants to be appreciated and the funny thing is that very few people invest time in their daily routines to show appreciation and gratitude. Set a goal to let at least five people a day know that you are grateful to and/or for them in some way. Show appreciation. Being clever is okay, but being sincere …
You Are What You Eat
Years ago, I learned a very important success principle. You are what you eat. And you don’t eat with just your mouth. You consume with your eyes and ears too. Small efforts repeated over time produce massive results. Like eating a Big Mac every day. Like watching the news every evening. Like hanging around with negative people. This works both ways – whether we consume positive or negative. I’m suggesting positive. Go on a diet of positivity. When you get up in the morning, repeat something positive while you’re brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Years ago, I taped positive quotes in my shower and read them over and over while I lathered up. During your day, invest a few minutes feeding yourself positive thoughts in terms of uplifting quotes and videos on YouTube. They’re pretty easy to find. Make sure right before you go to sleep at night …
Don’t Burn Bridges
The world feels like it’s getting smaller, but it’s the same size it has always been. It may be getting a littler bit warmer since Al Gore invented the internet, but it’s not getting any smaller. It feels like it’s getting smaller because we’re seeing more and more every day how interconnected we really are. And as I always tell my audiences, “You can’t outrun your character.” However you are, you are online, offline, in the boardroom and in the 7-11. Over the last few weeks I’ve had a few former bosses reach out to me and let me know that they’re looking to change careers or that they’ve been let go at their jobs. I let them know that if I can ever direct any opportunities their way, I’ll do so. Don’t burn bridges. The people who worked for you at one point may be the ones you’re reaching …
Dinner With Friends
High tech is nice, but high touch is everything. It’s great connecting with people on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and many other Social Media platforms. But when you can, get together face to face. Start a relationship online and then take it offline. We’re all busier than ever. With all the traveling I do, it’s easy to not see friends face to face for long periods of time. I don’t like that so I decided to start a new tradition in 2012. Once a month Karin and I host a dinner party at our home for friends and people we’d like to get to know better. Many of the people we’d like to know better we’ve come to know online through Social Media platforms. I kinda like the 1950’s kinda feel of a dinner party. We have two or three couples and some singles and they bring their kids. …
True Clout Has Nothing To Do With Klout
As more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media for their business and personal lives, there are more services that are popping up and attempting to accelerate the process. One of the services that has been around for some time is Klout, which enables people to generate a form of influence ranking. That’s all well and good, but I’ll go with time-tested, proven clout. The dictionary defines clout as, “pull, strong influence”. Don’t worry about trying to generate clout. Do the right thing. Every time. Do what you say you’re going to do. Under-promise and over-deliver. Get up early and work hard. Add massive value. Pay attention to the little things. Don’t sacrifice long-term success for short-term gain. Clout is like nature. It will grow in its own time when we follow true success principles. And don’t worry about what other people think of you. What …
It Makes No Sense To Worry
Is it just me or are you hearing people mention more and more that they’re worried about this, that, and the other thing? There’s an old saying that’s worked for me over the years, that goes like this, “It makes no sense to worry about things that you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And it makes no sense to worry about things that you do have control over, because if you do have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them.” There you go. Any need for worry has been eliminated. Carry on.
Attention Is The Most Valuable Commodity
In this more and more hyper-competitive, over-caffeinated, 24/7/365, Blackberry/Crackberry, Mach 5 with your receding hairline on fire world, one of the most valuable commodities on earth is attention. Yes, attention. You’re reading this right now. I am blessed to have your attention. Knowing this, always be asking yourself how you can over-deliver in the value department with everyone you come into contact with. Everyone. Not just the folks who you think may end up being your clients. Not just the people who you think may end up referring business to you. Everyone. The world seems to be getting smaller, but it’s not. It’s just that we’re now able to see all the hidden connections we already had, and we’re able to add more value to more people in more ways that we couldn’t have imagined ten years ago. Get people’s attention by becoming sincerely interested in them and their business …
Outcare Everyone Else By Listening Better
I love my barber. I love getting my hair cut because I get to sit and talk with Morris. He’s been cutting my hair for five years and although I moved a few months ago and he’s now 30 miles away, I still make the trip to see him. He and I were talking this morning about gaining and keeping our best clients. He and I are in two very different lines of work, but not really. We were talking about how little it takes to be above average. You do realize that just about everyone is average, don’t you? (that’s sarcastic, Jersey humor – which is redundant). Yes, you need to be technically competent in your chosen profession. But that’s just admission to the game. If you don’t have that, you won’t be in the game for long. Buh-bye, thanks for playing. By taking a sincere interest in your …
The Most Positive Day Of The Year
We all have so much to be thankful for. It’s great that we have a holiday like Thanksgiving to remind us to count our blessings. By definition, it’s the most positive day of the year. If you were to continually watch television news, read newspapers, and listen to talk radio hosts, you’d probably come to the conclusion that we’re all going to hell in a hand basket. We’re not. And there’s a lot to be thankful for, even in this economy. Having an attitude of gratitude serves us all in so many ways. Being thankful has been clinically proven to help people live longer. It’s just healthier to be thankful than to be bitter. It’s better for us emotionally also. So many aspects of our lives are affected by our emotions and being thankful is a great coping mechanism in good times and bad times. Knowing that gratitude is a …
Give It Away
When I was a kid and my Mom took me to the butcher shop when we lived in Germany, I remember that the butcher would slice off a few pieces of deli meat and give them to me and my brothers. He would give samples. This is a smart business practice. As I get to know my clients around the world in all different industries, I notice that some of them give samples and some of them don’t. And a “sample” could be a meeting, a consultation, a product or anything of value to the potential client or customer. There was a time not too long ago, when people and businesses were very concerned about intellectual property. Intellectual property rights should be observed, but as we become more interconnected, I believe there’s good reason to loosen up a little bit. Being tight-fisted regarding your content and services will not serve …
You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Post
Life moves pretty fast and if we really understood the impact that our words and actions have on other people and ultimately on ourselves, we’d probably be a little more selective with the things we say and do. Every interaction with another person is either a deposit or a withdrawal from that particular relationship. Be smart and make deposits. Negative comments and attitudes are withdrawals. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought.” I agree with that. That doesn’t mean that you have to become a superman of positivity and beat yourself up if you have negative thoughts. Everyone has negative thoughts. The question is: do you dwell on it, let it fester and then spread it like a virus, or do you choose to change your thoughts and focus on positive things? Take this line of thinking to Social Media. Everything you …
Get Real
People often ask me, “Kev, how should I be on Social Media?” I get a kick out of that question, because it’s similar to asking me, “Kev, how should I be on the telephone?” Let’s change the word “on” to “through.” You’re not “on” the telephone anymore than you’re “on” Social Media. You communicating through the telephone and through Social Media. So my answer to their question is usually, “Be however you would be face to face.” You should be yourself because everyone else is already taken. The words “authentic” and “transparent” have almost become clichés, but they make sense. People are going to figure out who you are anyway, so you may as well be authentic and transparent. But even those words are a little too “marketing speak” for me. I like a simpler word. Like “real”. Be real. Because people will figure out whether you’re real or not …
Netiquette Is Online Etiquette
Whether online or offline, manners make a difference. I like to call internet etiquette, “netiquette”. A habit I learned a long time ago that has served me very well through the years is starting phone conversations with, “Hi John, it’s Kev. Do you have a quick minute or is this a bad time?” There are very few people who start conversations like this. It’s a huge show of respect to the person whom you’re calling. Make sure you’re doing the same thing online. Because I often have Facebook running in the background on my computer, people pop up in the chat box all the time and often just launch into conversations. And sometimes they’re people I don’t know well at all that start conversations with sales pitches. Yikes. Remember that most people are quite busy. Approach them politely and be respectful of their time. I guarantee you the outcome of …
You Only Have One Chance To Make A Good First Impression
I’m catching up on some work in a coffee shop between meetings. And a stranger just walked up to me and said, “You look older in person than you do on Facebook and the internet.” How’s that for an icebreaker? You think I’m gonna forget her? I doubt it. I smiled and replied, “Thanks. I cram a lot of living into every day.” Things that our parents and grandparents used to tell us when we were kids are still true. Things like, “You only have one chance to make a first impression.” And, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Whether online or offline, people are people. Remember the things our elders taught us. They make sense. It’s very hard to go back and make a good first impression. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, …
You Just Popped In My Head So I Thought I’d Call
We all have times during the day when someone pops in our mind. These are great opportunities to build and strengthen relationships. Just for fun, the next time someone pops in your mind, pick up the phone and call them. You’re probably busy and don’t have much time, so start the conversation like this, “Hi Joan, this is Kevin. I only have a quick minute, but you just popped in my mind and I’ve learned that when someone pops in my mind, I should call and at least say hi. HI! Again, I only have a real quick minute, so maybe we can talk longer another time. Anything I can help you with real quick before I have to run?” People will be amazed that you took the quick minute or two to call them and they’ll be glad you did. With all the high-tech, many people are forgetting the …
What Happens In Vegas, Doesn’t Stay In Vegas
I’m staying and speaking at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas for a few days this week. I love Vegas and think everyone should get a dose of alternate reality from time to time. The saying “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, may have worked 20 years ago, but it doesn’t hold water now. The world is getting smaller and what goes around, comes around. Social Media is creating a more transparent world. This isn’t a bad thing. So do good things. Add massive value at every opportunity. Pay it forward. Because information travels literally at the speed of light. By seeking to serve, you create more opportunities to serve. And that’s true regardless of whether you’re in Topeka or Las Vegas. Sooner or later we reap what we sow. So sow good. We can’t outrun our character, and what happens in Vegas, doesn’t stay in Vegas.