There’s a saying that many sales trainers use quite frequently which is, “Always be closing.” If we’re “always closing” then the people we do business with will always feel pressure. Most people don’t like pressure and don’t want to “be closed.” Most of us want to be relaxed and comfortable in buying situations. And, quite frankly, in all situations. I prefer the term, “Always be connecting.” Knowing that all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust…connecting is a far better strategy than closing. And I’m hesitant to even use the term strategy. That sounds too “M.B.A.” to me. If friendship is a strategy than I guess I’m a strategist. I prefer to think I’m just a friend. As we take a sincere interest in other people, good things start to show up. Good things like job opportunities, referrals, clients, joy, …
Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want
I have been on a Dale Carnegie kick lately. Well, for the last 20 years. That's "lately" in a larger sense. A Carnegie maxim is “Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want.” People are far more alike than different. And everyone is pretty much like you and me: we are all interested in what we want. This is so obvious that we often don’t even see it. The fish doesn’t know that it’s wet. Everything you’ve ever done was done because you wanted something. The only way to persuade someone to do anything is to talk about what they want and show them a way to get it. There is no other way. As simple as that sounds it is something we overlook all the time. Arouse in another person an eager want and they will move mountains. Fail to do this and they won’t move an inch. As …
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
In keeping with my recent Dale Carnegie theme, one of the “Carnegie-isms” is “Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.” This is very important in all interpersonal relationships, whether online or offline. We should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. Remember the phrase: “the desire to be important.” It is very significant. Anyone can point out when someone has screwed up. Unfortunately, the only recognition that many people ever get is when they mess up. I suggest that we sneak up and catch people doing something right. Don’t flatter people. Flattery does more harm than good. Appreciation is sincere and flattery is insincere. One comes from the heart out and one comes from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. Think about people’s good points and we won’t have to resort to something as cheap and false as flattery. People aren’t stupid; they …
Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
Most folks know that I am a bit of a Carneholic. That's a Dale Carnegie-aholic. "Hello, my name is Kev, and I'm a Carneholic." Whether I'm speaking onstage on Online or Offline Networking, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter or anything else (and God knows I fall into some rabbit holes), you can bet your life that at some point in my speaking or training engagement, the Carneholic will emerge. This is because Dale's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has made such a major difference in my life. And not just my life, but a lot of other people's lives also. One of the Carnegie maxims is "Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain". This is profoundly simple wisdom. And something that should be taught to every child from the moment of their birth. We become like the people we associate with whether we're young or old. And most of …
We Become What We Think About All Day Long (whether we want to or not)
I had a great phone conversation today with an old friend. Remember that technology – the phone? Great tool. Anyway, we were talking about success, goal-setting and things like that. He knows that I read a lot of books on success, psychology, and personal development and he asked if I could distill in one sentence the essence of the many books that I’ve read on these subjects. It didn’t take me long to formulate a sentence. And it’s not originally mine. There’s nothing new under the sun, and everything is just a variation on everything else. So the sentence is “We become what we think about all day long, whether we want to or not.” There have been a lot of other people who have said this in the same or similar wording. James Allen said “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Or was that Jesus? I can’t remember. …