Facebook Is A High School Reunion Whenever You Like

I attended my 30th high school reunion in New Jersey yesterday evening. In the old days, last century, getting together for high school reunions was the time to learn all about what was happening in your friends’ lives because except for reunions, you were pretty much out of touch with most of your high school friends.

Now, with Facebook and other Social Media platforms, you can have ongoing conversations and stay in touch with your classmates as much or as little as you like. And getting together every ten years is just the in person time that you get to spend with these folks.

I think that’s nice. It’s great to be able to walk up to someone you haven’t seen in ten years or longer, and know what’s happening in their life and the lives of their kids, grandkids, spouse, etc because you take a sincere interest in them.

As I’ve said for years on stages all over, Facebook is the world’s largest high school reunion. We may get together at ten-year milestones, but we can have a high school reunion as frequently as we like.

You Are Blessed

2012 has been a rough year so far for Colorado with the massive wildfires which burned over 500 homes and a madman who went on a shooting spree early yesterday morning.

Regardless of how many horrible things happen, we should remember that the beautiful things happening all around us every day far outnumber the terrible things.

At the risk of sounding like a Kum-Ba-Yah moment, it serves us well to take a minute and count our blessings. The moment in the morning when your eyes open from sleep and you realize you’re blessed with another day. The first kiss of the day with someone you love. The giggle of your child. The taste of your first bite of breakfast. The breeze in your face when you walk out the door. The convenience of a bike, car, train, plane, boat or your legs to get you around. The joy of watching a beautiful sunset after a long day. And of course, I could go on and on. The blessings are endless if we’re conscious enough to observe and appreciate them.

Don’t be jaded by the media. Life is beautiful and you are blessed. Regardless of your situation.

Old School Face Time Before Apple FaceTime

After a speaking engagement in Parsippany, NJ yesterday, I went out to lunch with a group of the attendees and we had some great discussions. One of the conversations was about how most people are so focused on electronics that they forget offline ways to build and enhance relationships.

As you’re connecting with folks on Social Media platforms, don’t forget that no amount of Facebook posts, LinkedIn status updates or tweets are equal to a face to face coffee or lunch meeting.

Make sure you’re scheduling face time into your week. Invest in old school relationships. You’ll completely differentiate yourself from the folks with the Blueteeth in their ears who think that being too busy to meet with someone is some kinda badge of honor. Yeah, it’s a badge all right….

Personalize Everything

It takes so little to be above average. In a more and more interconnected, over-caffeinated, hyper-competitive, Mach 5 with your receding hairline on fire world, it’s easy to forget to make personal connections. And most people just hit the Like button on Facebook, Accept Connection button on LinkedIn and Follow button on Twitter.

If someone walked up to you in real life, stuck out their hand and introduced themselves to you would you look at them, ignore their extended hand and just turn around and walk away? If you did, your mother would smack you.

Don’t be a Social Media drive-by Liker, Friender or Follower. That’s what the masses do. By the way….watch what 95% of society does and do just the opposite. Always, and I mean always, personalize everything. Send a personal note saying thanks, asking them how they heard of you and how you may be able to help them in some way. I did not say to try to sell them something.

“But Kevin, I’m so busy. I don’t have time to reply to everyone’s messages.” If you’re thinking this you have all the evidence to prove that you don’t know how to build, enhance and maintain relationships. And that manifests itself in having to smile and dial every morning, selling on price, a tough time finding a job and a thousand other ways.

You don’t have time not to personalize everything. We are successful to the extent that we master relationship building. Now more than ever.

2

Small Biz Can Be Big Biz

Society programs us to think that we have to always be bigger, faster, stronger, etc. This is especially the case in business. But this isn’t true. It may have been in the past, but it’s not now.

It would serve people well to revisit from to time why they are doing the things they’re doing as business owners. Did they get into business to build the biggest, most profitable, etc, whatever?

Most of the time they didn’t. They got into business to earn a good living providing a product or service they have a passion for at a fair value to people who are desiring it.

When you get seduced into thinking that your company has to be the biggest, most profitable, etc, many mistakes will follow because your decisions will be built on the wrong foundation.

As the world becomes more and more interconnected and niched, you can do quite well without having to be Microsoft or Wal-Mart. The question is, what kind of value are you delivering and to whom? Focus on figuring out how you can deliver massive value and use Social Media to identify and connect with your ideal clients.

Don’t worry about blanketing the marketplace. Create raving fans and they’ll do that for you. If that’s what you want. And if you don’t want to scale your biz, you don’t have to. You can live very well with your boutique biz with your hand-chosen clients.

2

Problem Or Project?

The way we define a thing often frames our attitude towards the thing. We often freeze up when confronted with a problem. We often get our creative juices flowing when taking on a project.

This is more than semantics. Our perception of things greatly influences our experience of things.

By changing the word “problem” to “project” we can change our attitude toward the situation. You may be surprised at what you can do when you make the shift to accomplishing projects. What project can you make progress toward today?

Waldo Canyon Fire And Social Media

It’s been a pretty crazy three days here in beautiful Colorado Springs. We are in the midst of a major wildfire which is threatening tens of thousands of homes and businesses on the edge of the city. 3600 acres have already burned, there’s 0% containment, over 6000 people evacuated, and close to 500 firefighters battling the fire. Combine that with record high temperatures of over 100 degrees including new high temperature records set in six of the last eight days, and it’s a wild time here.

As I often say in my presentations, “You can’t outrun your character.” The character of the peeps in Colorado Springs is amazing. It’s been wonderful to see how people have come together through Social Media. Businesses have offered free use of their offices, restaurants have offered free meals, storage facilities have offered free space, over 25 tons of food and water were donated in the first 24 hours of the fire. This is all being tremendously accelerated through Social Media channels.

Sometimes people think that Social Media is just a minor tool. A paintbrush is a minor tool in the hands of a one year old and a major tool in the hands of a Picasso. Social Media is a minor tool in the hands of someone who is just interested in trying to promote themselves or their business like a spammer. Social Media is a major tool when used by caring, compassionate, heroic people who are seeking to help others. Social Media is a lifesaving tool when used correctly.

I’m proud to be friends with so many amazingly loving people, who when the doo-doo hits the fan, put aside their political, spiritual, and lifestyle differences and band together to save lives. We can’t outrun our character. And our character is good.

1

Relax And Enjoy The Game

Ever notice that people who are good at something seem pretty relaxed when they’re doing it? Business tends to be a very serious game for most folks but that doesn’t mean you have to be so serious.

Yes, take your business seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Put people at ease. It’s easier to communicate and work with people when they’re relaxed. Just for fun you may want to play a game with yourself called “How relaxed can I make this person feel?”

As my good friend, Bob Burg, taught me years ago, “All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.” Usually they know, like, and trust you because they feel relaxed with you. What can you do to make people feel more relaxed today?

1

Be An Opener, Not A Closer

In sales, one of the bad stereotypes is the killer closer. I think it’s a good idea from time to time to examine our language because it has a huge effect on us, often without us knowing it. The fish doesn’t know it’s wet.

First, no one wants to get killed. If you’re interacting with your prospects, clients, networking partners and referral sources with a “killer” mindset, they feel it. And they don’t feel good. Don’t kill people. Help people lead more inspiring lives by being more inspiring yourself.

Second, no one wants to be “closed”. Thinking that you’re going to close a sale means that you’re treating your clients like prey. And they can feel it. Yes, you need to generate business, but closing is so 20th century.

In a more and more interconnected world, if you’re running around closing people, you’re leaving a wake of people behind you who probably don’t feel so great about you. It serves you far better to think in terms of “opening”. Open relationships. Open referrals. Open networking opportunities.

What goes around comes around. Be open. Have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out. Always be looking for chances to open relationships. You’ll find there’s unlimited opportunities to add value as an opener, not a closer.

3

Stand Up Straight

My older daughter recently told me that I have good posture when I sit and when I walk. I never think about my posture, so it was an interesting comment. On a side note, I haven’t thought of this in years, but my daughter’s comment made me remember that I had a girlfriend twenty-five years ago who told me “I love watching you walk.” When I asked her why she said “Because you know where you’re going and it shows.” I forget a lot of things but I remember her comment.

Stand up straight when you’re on your Social Media platforms. Stand up straight means do the right thing. Take the high road. Pay it forward. Under promise and over deliver. Don’t complain. Be polite. Say please and thank you more. Don’t slouch.

Having good posture shows that you’ve got a good spine. That’s code for backbone. And in a world where people have turned complaining and bad manners into an art form, you’ll be a light in the darkness.

2

Avoid Complication In Everything

Leonardo DaVinci said “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” He was right. BTW – he stole that line from me. He was quite the klepto.

Any idiot can take a simple thing and complicate the heck out of it and many idiots do. It takes a more insightful person to take something that may seem to be complicated or overwhelming and simplify it. Not “dumb it down” but simplify it.

I have what I refer to as my “8 & 80 Rule”. Regardless of the subject matter, quantum physics or interpersonal skills (actually very similar subjects), if you can’t explain it conceptually in a minute or so to an 8-year-old or an 80-year-old, you don’t really understand the subject yourself. This is a great self-check.

Some people complicate things because they think it will make them look smart. That’s just their low self-image talking.

Think of the sharpest folks you know and I’ll bet they have a simple conversational style and a way of explaining things simply so that they make sense.

Avoid complication in everything. It’s a trap. Simple is where it’s at. Always has been, always will be.

2

Do Business With People Who Believe What You Believe

I don’t remember where I first heard it, but something that has really stuck with me over time is “Don’t work with the people who need what you have; work with the people who believe what you believe.” This may not resonate with you, but it sure resonates with me.

If you’re trying to convince (that’s code for “sell”) everyone that they need what you have, that’s a hard road to travel. And it’s the road most people travel. If you’re finding people who believe what you believe in terms of life philosophy, attitude, business practices, etc., you’ll find that life becomes easier. This is a road with little traffic.

Taking this approach means that you have to find out people’s life philosophy, attitude, business practices, etc. And most people don’t find out these things about other people. Most people are just looking to close a transaction versus open a relationship.

When you do business with people who believe what you believe, you obtain happier customers and clients, more referrals, repeat business, and a peaceful feeling when you go to sleep at night. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Imagine

Imagine if you could do what you love for a living.

Imagine if you could have a better relationship with your spouse or significant other.

Imagine if you could be happier.

Imagine if you could spend more time doing the things you enjoy.

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.

Imagine if you could figure out how to do these things.

Imagine that you can.

And you will.

Small Repeated Efforts Produce Massive Results

People are always looking for a shortcut. Whether in Social Media, fitness, finances, relationships or whatever, it doesn’t matter.

I’ve found the shortcut. Small efforts repeated over time is the shortcut. That’s it. There is no other short cut. None. Nada. Bupkiss. Goose egg.

Implement this strategy in whatever you’re seeking to accomplish and you’ll leave 95% of the population in the dust. Probably 98%.

It takes so little to be above average. How bad do you want it?

Social Media Cross-Pollination

Remember the old days in the last century when you had your work life and your personal life and never the two shall meet? How’s that working out for you in a more and more interconnected world?

When you connect with someone on one Social Media platform do you also connect with them on other SoMe platforms? I do. I’m not suggesting that you should too, but allow me to tell you why I do.

I do because for me SoMe is all about relationships. The more I can get to know someone the easier it is for me to figure out how I can add value to them in some way. Don’t read into my “add value” comment as code for “sell them something.”

When I accept someone’s LinkedIn connection request, I see if I can find them on Facebook. If I find them, I send them a friend request. Same with Twitter. This habit has served me well. Very well. It may serve you well also.

I guess it all depends on why you’re on Social Media to begin with. Hmmm……

3

Earning Versus Getting

As people are trying to gain more visibility through Social Media, a question I often hear is “How do I get more connections on LinkedIn, likes on Facebook and followers on Twitter?”

I think the problem lies in their question. The question they should be asking is “How do I earn more connections, likes, and followers?”

I can show you how to get a lot of followers very quickly. And you’ll lose them just as quickly. Almost as quickly as you’ll lose your credibility.

Success isn’t something you get. It’s something you earn.

First: add massive value. Second: add massive value. Third: add massive value. Guess what fourth is.

While everyone else is trying to get, invest your time in earning your connections, likes and followers. When you earn them they won’t leave. When you earn them, they want to do business with you. When you earn them, you have relationships. And that’s the holy grail.

Stop And Think

No matter how sophisticated technology becomes, success will always come down to the ability to consistently serve and add value to people.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from a wise guy (not to be confused with the Jersey-type of wise guy) is to sit down for an hour in the morning with a legal pad and pen and write down as many ways as you can think of that you can possibly add more value to your clients, customers, boss, company, referral sources and networking partners.

This is not an easy thing to do on a consistent basis. Most of the ideas will be thrown out but you will uncover some gems. When you do, implement them. There’s gold in them thar hills.

Edison said that 2% of the people think, 3% think they think, and 95% would rather die than think. He was right. Very few people seriously think on a consistent basis. And it shows.

If an hour is too much for you right out of the gate, start with 20 minutes on a daily basis seriously thinking about how you can add more value. It’ll change your business and your life.

You’re A Mosquito In A Nudist Colony Of Opportunity

We have almost unlimited ways to connect with each other. When you meet someone either personally or professionally do you look to connect with them on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter? I do.

It’s a good habit to start. Then after you connect online, offer to help them in some way. Without an agenda. And not so they can owe you.

There are a lot of people who are out of work for long periods of time, tolerating jobs that they hate, dealing with clients they’d love to fire, and a hundred others types of soul-sucking torture.

The reason they’re living in this situation has nothing to do with the economy, the Democrats, the Republicans, global warming, the Mayan calendar, or any other excuse. It has to do with the fact that most people don’t understand that all things being equal people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.

You’re not Tom Hanks living on an island with a volleyball named Wilson. You’re a mosquito in a nudist colony of opportunity. Be nicer. Be friendlier. Add more value. You’ve never been in a better position to succeed than you are right now.

2

Don’t Treat Social Media Like a Gym on January 1st

I meet a lot of people who dip their toe or their organization’s toe into Social Media and hope that SoMe is a silver bullet. It’s not.

Posting something and then disappearing into the Witness Relocation Program for a long time doesn’t lead to Top-Of-Mind Awareness with your prospects, clients, customer, or networking or referral partners.

Pick a pace you can live with and then live with it. Just like a workout schedule.

Don’t treat your SoMe efforts the way most people treat a gym on January 1st. “It took me thirty years to get this out of shape so I’ll hammer the weights and treadmill and get back in shape in the next three days.” No you won’t. You’ll pull a muscle.

Small efforts repeated over time produce massive results. Inch by inch anything’s a cinch, yard by yard it’s hard. Steady wins the race. It doesn’t have to be slow and steady, but it does have to be steady.

 

Hanging Out On The Corner

I’m writing this in the beautiful Loews Hotel at 12th and Market in Philadelphia after delivering a speaking engagement. I’m in the lounge by the piano with floor to ceiling windows that look out 180 degrees on this busy intersection.

It’s amazing to watch the people go by. You see folks of every size, shape and color. You see people who are in a hurry, walking slowly, looking happy and sad.

It’s a lot like watching your news and status feeds on your Social Media sites.

But life changes when you stop just observing and start interacting….