Read books on interpersonal skills. Learn how to most effectively interact with people. Become a networking professional. Study how to be a charming conversationalist. But, let’s not over-complicate this. All relationships start with “hi.” Develop the habit of saying “hi” to just about everyone who crosses your path. Do it with a smile. It will change your life.
Tim Sanders’ Masterpiece
Since today is Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d mention a book that I read back in 2003 which changed my life. That’s not an exaggeration. The book is “Love Is The Killer App” by Tim Sanders. The subtitle is “How to Win Business and Influence Friends.” Tim explains how to bring your compassion into business. It’s not a sappy book. It’s profound in its originality and authenticity. I applied what I learned in his book to my business efforts and saw huge immediate results. The book actually steered me toward the course I’m now on around the world with my speaking and training. Tim was actually going to kindly write a blurb for my book “The Social Media Sales Revolution” but it didn’t align with McGraw-Hill’s editorial calendar. Maybe he’ll kindly endorse my next book. I’m intentionally not going into a lot of detail here on what’s in the book. Wanna …
People Skills Are Your Only Limitation
As we all become more connected, we’re finding exponentially more opportunities to impact people and organizations. This assumes that you are committed to adding massive value in everything you do. I believe that the only limitation you will have as you move forward is your relationship skills limitation. Let’s agree that your technical expertise in your chosen profession and aligning yourself with a good organization (or starting your own business) that offers a viable product or service at a reasonable price is just admission to the game. That just gets you in the room. In a world (use that guy who does the movie trailer voice) where finding talent has never been easier (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) the differentiator is no longer your technical expertise. Wanna get good at something – just watch YouTube. Anything in the world you want to learn is there. Just go to khanacademy.org, heck…MIT just put …
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Social Media And Relationships Take A Little Work
Success in Social Media and success in relationships doesn’t just happen. Success requires some work. And Social Media and relationships have a lot in common. That’s probably because they’re the same thing. Having success in Social Media means understanding that it’s not about technology, it’s about relationships. You don’t need to be an expert transmission repair specialist in order to drive a car and you don’t need to be a “Social Media Guru” in order to have success in Social Media. Investing a little time on a daily basis in your Social Media efforts and in your relationships produce massive results over time. Updating your LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter statuses on a regular basis let people know that you’re still there. Kinda like a relationship. If you don’t let the people you care about know that you care about them, they tend to go away. Touch the people you’re connected …
Rumi Was Right
“Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” – Rumi Rumi was a pretty deep 13th-century poet and Sufi mystic. I love reading his works. He must have been fun guy to hang around with. Let’s change the word ‘bewilderment’ to ‘gratitude’, and his profound saying becomes “Sell your cleverness and purchase gratitude.” Instead of trying to figure out clever ways of gaining followers on your Social Media channels, or burning brain cells trying to get more people to read your blog, or whatever, what would happen if you went on a rampage of gratitude? Everyone wants to be appreciated and the funny thing is that very few people invest time in their daily routines to show appreciation and gratitude. Set a goal to let at least five people a day know that you are grateful to and/or for them in some way. Show appreciation. Being clever is okay, but being sincere …
Social Proof Isn’t New, It’s Just Much Easier Now
Ever since the earth was cooling, the best form of credibility has been word of mouth. We do business with and refer business to people we know, like and trust. This is as natural as gravity. Whether it’s 912 AD or 2012 AD, word gets around. When people have good experiences and outcomes after working with you, you develop word of mouth. This is called a reputation. Prior to Social Media, we had limited ways of showing that we are credible, do a good job, take pride in our work, and have people saying good things about us. By creating a robust LinkedIn Profile including Recommendations from people who are in a position to endorse you based on your work experience, it’s never been easier to showcase your credibility. Similar displays of credibility can be created on Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media platforms. The so-called, and often self-professed ‘Social …
Wipe Your Feet
“Do we live in a barn? Wipe your feet!” Ever hear that when you were a kid? I did, because my brothers and I tramped in mud, leaves and God knows what else into our home. My Mom did a great job of keeping a clean house and didn’t want us messing it up with our carelessness. Let’s apply that thinking to Social Media. Remember that every human being with a cell phone is effectively a media company. We can transmit Facebook posts, LinkedIn Status Updates, Tweets on Twitter, photos, video and just about anything else around the globe in seconds. You’re leaving tracks one way or another. Is it mud or is it adding value? Wipe your feet. Leave the mud outside….off the internet and Social Media. Post good things. Add value. Most people have enough mud in their own homes and don’t need yours or mine.
You Are What You Eat
Years ago, I learned a very important success principle. You are what you eat. And you don’t eat with just your mouth. You consume with your eyes and ears too. Small efforts repeated over time produce massive results. Like eating a Big Mac every day. Like watching the news every evening. Like hanging around with negative people. This works both ways – whether we consume positive or negative. I’m suggesting positive. Go on a diet of positivity. When you get up in the morning, repeat something positive while you’re brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Years ago, I taped positive quotes in my shower and read them over and over while I lathered up. During your day, invest a few minutes feeding yourself positive thoughts in terms of uplifting quotes and videos on YouTube. They’re pretty easy to find. Make sure right before you go to sleep at night …
Don’t Burn Bridges
The world feels like it’s getting smaller, but it’s the same size it has always been. It may be getting a littler bit warmer since Al Gore invented the internet, but it’s not getting any smaller. It feels like it’s getting smaller because we’re seeing more and more every day how interconnected we really are. And as I always tell my audiences, “You can’t outrun your character.” However you are, you are online, offline, in the boardroom and in the 7-11. Over the last few weeks I’ve had a few former bosses reach out to me and let me know that they’re looking to change careers or that they’ve been let go at their jobs. I let them know that if I can ever direct any opportunities their way, I’ll do so. Don’t burn bridges. The people who worked for you at one point may be the ones you’re reaching …
Dinner With Friends
High tech is nice, but high touch is everything. It’s great connecting with people on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and many other Social Media platforms. But when you can, get together face to face. Start a relationship online and then take it offline. We’re all busier than ever. With all the traveling I do, it’s easy to not see friends face to face for long periods of time. I don’t like that so I decided to start a new tradition in 2012. Once a month Karin and I host a dinner party at our home for friends and people we’d like to get to know better. Many of the people we’d like to know better we’ve come to know online through Social Media platforms. I kinda like the 1950’s kinda feel of a dinner party. We have two or three couples and some singles and they bring their kids. …
True Clout Has Nothing To Do With Klout
As more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media for their business and personal lives, there are more services that are popping up and attempting to accelerate the process. One of the services that has been around for some time is Klout, which enables people to generate a form of influence ranking. That’s all well and good, but I’ll go with time-tested, proven clout. The dictionary defines clout as, “pull, strong influence”. Don’t worry about trying to generate clout. Do the right thing. Every time. Do what you say you’re going to do. Under-promise and over-deliver. Get up early and work hard. Add massive value. Pay attention to the little things. Don’t sacrifice long-term success for short-term gain. Clout is like nature. It will grow in its own time when we follow true success principles. And don’t worry about what other people think of you. What …
Gifts That Are Not In Little Blue Tiffany Boxes
As you’re winding down 2011, I’m sure you’re taking a few minutes to review the year and take stock of how it all panned out. Did you hit your goals? Did you have goals? How did your job or business fare in 2011? Despite the economic tsunami, did you stay afloat or perhaps even thrive? Think about your professional and personal relationships. How are you doing with the people you work with? Look back at December of 2010 and think of how your professional relationships were then and ask yourself if there’s been any change between then and now? Is it for the better or worse? There is no status quo in relationships. How about your personal relationships? How’s it going with your spouse, kids, relatives, and friends? Take a minute and ask yourself if these relationships are getting stronger or are they getting weaker? Remember that kids often spell …
It Makes No Sense To Worry
Is it just me or are you hearing people mention more and more that they’re worried about this, that, and the other thing? There’s an old saying that’s worked for me over the years, that goes like this, “It makes no sense to worry about things that you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And it makes no sense to worry about things that you do have control over, because if you do have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them.” There you go. Any need for worry has been eliminated. Carry on.
Attention Is The Most Valuable Commodity
In this more and more hyper-competitive, over-caffeinated, 24/7/365, Blackberry/Crackberry, Mach 5 with your receding hairline on fire world, one of the most valuable commodities on earth is attention. Yes, attention. You’re reading this right now. I am blessed to have your attention. Knowing this, always be asking yourself how you can over-deliver in the value department with everyone you come into contact with. Everyone. Not just the folks who you think may end up being your clients. Not just the people who you think may end up referring business to you. Everyone. The world seems to be getting smaller, but it’s not. It’s just that we’re now able to see all the hidden connections we already had, and we’re able to add more value to more people in more ways that we couldn’t have imagined ten years ago. Get people’s attention by becoming sincerely interested in them and their business …
Outcare Everyone Else By Listening Better
I love my barber. I love getting my hair cut because I get to sit and talk with Morris. He’s been cutting my hair for five years and although I moved a few months ago and he’s now 30 miles away, I still make the trip to see him. He and I were talking this morning about gaining and keeping our best clients. He and I are in two very different lines of work, but not really. We were talking about how little it takes to be above average. You do realize that just about everyone is average, don’t you? (that’s sarcastic, Jersey humor – which is redundant). Yes, you need to be technically competent in your chosen profession. But that’s just admission to the game. If you don’t have that, you won’t be in the game for long. Buh-bye, thanks for playing. By taking a sincere interest in your …
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The Most Positive Day Of The Year
We all have so much to be thankful for. It’s great that we have a holiday like Thanksgiving to remind us to count our blessings. By definition, it’s the most positive day of the year. If you were to continually watch television news, read newspapers, and listen to talk radio hosts, you’d probably come to the conclusion that we’re all going to hell in a hand basket. We’re not. And there’s a lot to be thankful for, even in this economy. Having an attitude of gratitude serves us all in so many ways. Being thankful has been clinically proven to help people live longer. It’s just healthier to be thankful than to be bitter. It’s better for us emotionally also. So many aspects of our lives are affected by our emotions and being thankful is a great coping mechanism in good times and bad times. Knowing that gratitude is a …
Give It Away
When I was a kid and my Mom took me to the butcher shop when we lived in Germany, I remember that the butcher would slice off a few pieces of deli meat and give them to me and my brothers. He would give samples. This is a smart business practice. As I get to know my clients around the world in all different industries, I notice that some of them give samples and some of them don’t. And a “sample” could be a meeting, a consultation, a product or anything of value to the potential client or customer. There was a time not too long ago, when people and businesses were very concerned about intellectual property. Intellectual property rights should be observed, but as we become more interconnected, I believe there’s good reason to loosen up a little bit. Being tight-fisted regarding your content and services will not serve …
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You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Post
Life moves pretty fast and if we really understood the impact that our words and actions have on other people and ultimately on ourselves, we’d probably be a little more selective with the things we say and do. Every interaction with another person is either a deposit or a withdrawal from that particular relationship. Be smart and make deposits. Negative comments and attitudes are withdrawals. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought.” I agree with that. That doesn’t mean that you have to become a superman of positivity and beat yourself up if you have negative thoughts. Everyone has negative thoughts. The question is: do you dwell on it, let it fester and then spread it like a virus, or do you choose to change your thoughts and focus on positive things? Take this line of thinking to Social Media. Everything you …
I Noticed That You Viewed My LinkedIn Profile
On the right-hand side of your LinkedIn homepage is a very interesting button called “Who’s Viewed Your Profile”. Depending on how a person’s LinkedIn settings are configured you can see with some limited visibility who’s been looking at your LinkedIn profile. Huge door of opportunity alert. Many people spend a lot of mental power trying to think up clever back door ways of doing things and getting people’s attention when they could just walk up to the nine-hundred-pound elephant in the middle of the room and hug it. I check this LinkedIn feature everyday and send a message to the people who’ve viewed my profile. Here’s my standard message: “Hi Bob, I noticed that you viewed my LinkedIn Profile. I’m all about paying-it-forward and adding massive value and I’d like you to make me prove it. May I help or serve you in some way? To your massive success, Kev” …
The Gray Hair Wins
Sometimes people with a little gray in their hair get nervous about the whole Social Media thing. They tell me that the younger generations are more suited to Social Media and feel that it’s a younger person’s game. Actually, a younger person may be technologically ahead of their older counterparts, but the older person is in a better position than the young punk. The younger person may know which buttons to push, which apps to load and so on, but they don’t have the life experience, business acumen or battle scars of the older person. They haven’t had the successes or been kicked in the teeth by life and business, haven’t seen markets rise and fall and have a limited view of the world and business for the simple reason that they just haven’t been around as long. Folks with some years on them know that long-term business and life …