We Become Like The Social Media Peeps We Associate With

There are certain kids that we don’t want our kids hanging out with. That’s because we know that they’ll be a bad influence. So at what age does this change? Remember that adults are just kids with long, hairy legs.

We become like the people we associate with. Regardless of our age.

Knowing that people are spending huge amounts of time on Facebook and other Social Media sites, it serves us well to remember that we’re associating with people online as well as offline. And we become like the people we associate with.

Don’t complain and gripe if you’re hanging around a bunch of complainers and gripers online or offline. Of course you’re complaining and griping if that’s what you’re surrounding yourself with.

Surround yourself with people who are inspirational and uplifting. Communicate with people who make you feel better about yourself. Spend time with people who are succeeding and going where you’d like to go.

We become like the people we associate with. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. The choice is yours.

All Relationships Start With “Hi”

Read books on interpersonal skills.

Learn how to most effectively interact with people.

Become a networking professional.

Study how to be a charming conversationalist.

But, let’s not over-complicate this. All relationships start with “hi.”

Develop the habit of saying “hi” to just about everyone who crosses your path. Do it with a smile. It will change your life.

Tim Sanders’ Masterpiece

Since today is Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d mention a book that I read back in 2003 which changed my life. That’s not an exaggeration. The book is “Love Is The Killer App” by Tim Sanders. The subtitle is “How to Win Business and Influence Friends.”

Tim explains how to bring your compassion into business. It’s not a sappy book. It’s profound in its originality and authenticity.

I applied what I learned in his book to my business efforts and saw huge immediate results. The book actually steered me toward the course I’m now on around the world with my speaking and training.

Tim was actually going to kindly write a blurb for my book “The Social Media Sales Revolution” but it didn’t align with McGraw-Hill’s editorial calendar. Maybe he’ll kindly endorse my next book.

I’m intentionally not going into a lot of detail here on what’s in the book. Wanna learn how to have a much greater impact in your job or business while earning a lot more money? Read the book. Wanna be happier on a daily basis in your professional role? Read the book. Wanna have people wanting to do business with you and/or hire you? Read the book.

Spread the love. Happy Valentine’s Day!

People Skills Are Your Only Limitation

As we all become more connected, we’re finding exponentially more opportunities to impact people and organizations. This assumes that you are committed to adding massive value in everything you do. I believe that the only limitation you will have as you move forward is your relationship skills limitation.

Let’s agree that your technical expertise in your chosen profession and aligning yourself with a good organization (or starting your own business) that offers a viable product or service at a reasonable price is just admission to the game. That just gets you in the room.

In a world (use that guy who does the movie trailer voice) where finding talent has never been easier (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) the differentiator is no longer your technical expertise. Wanna get good at something – just watch YouTube. Anything in the world you want to learn is there. Just go to khanacademy.org, heck…MIT just put their college courses on video online for anyone in the world to watch. For free!

No, the differentiator is now ‘are you someone people WANT to work with?’ When there is an abundance of talent (there always was, it was just more difficult to locate before), positioning yourself as someone who is a pleasure to work with becomes more important than ever before.

People skills, not technical skills. Technical skills can be bought. Cheap. People skills are literally priceless. Because with the right people skills you set your own price because you add massive value. Double down on relationship skills.

 

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Social Media And Relationships Take A Little Work

Success in Social Media and success in relationships doesn’t just happen. Success requires some work. And Social Media and relationships have a lot in common. That’s probably because they’re the same thing.

Having success in Social Media means understanding that it’s not about technology, it’s about relationships. You don’t need to be an expert transmission repair specialist in order to drive a car and you don’t need to be a “Social Media Guru” in order to have success in Social Media.

Investing a little time on a daily basis in your Social Media efforts and in your relationships produce massive results over time. Updating your LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter statuses on a regular basis let people know that you’re still there. Kinda like a relationship. If you don’t let the people you care about know that you care about them, they tend to go away.

Touch the people you’re connected to, whether you’re connected to them online or offline. It really takes so little effort. Let people know that you’re thinking about them and that they matter to you. Do this on a consistent basis, and it no longer is work, but a joy you look forward to every day. Kinda like a great relationship.

Rumi Was Right

“Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” – Rumi

Rumi was a pretty deep 13th-century poet and Sufi mystic. I love reading his works. He must have been fun guy to hang around with.

Let’s change the word ‘bewilderment’ to ‘gratitude’, and his profound saying becomes “Sell your cleverness and purchase gratitude.”

Instead of trying to figure out clever ways of gaining followers on your Social Media channels, or burning brain cells trying to get more people to read your blog, or whatever, what would happen if you went on a rampage of gratitude?

Everyone wants to be appreciated and the funny thing is that very few people invest time in their daily routines to show appreciation and gratitude.

Set a goal to let at least five people a day know that you are grateful to and/or for them in some way. Show appreciation. Being clever is okay, but being sincere and letting people know that you appreciate them and are grateful to have them in your life is more important.

When I was younger, I admired cleverness. As I become older, I admire kindness far more.

Oh yeah, while you’re remembering that your prospects, clients, customers, co-workers, boss, and referral partners are people who should be shown more appreciation, remember that your family members are too.

Social Proof Isn’t New, It’s Just Much Easier Now

Ever since the earth was cooling, the best form of credibility has been word of mouth. We do business with and refer business to people we know, like and trust. This is as natural as gravity.

Whether it’s 912 AD or 2012 AD, word gets around. When people have good experiences and outcomes after working with you, you develop word of mouth. This is called a reputation.

Prior to Social Media, we had limited ways of showing that we are credible, do a good job, take pride in our work, and have people saying good things about us.

By creating a robust LinkedIn Profile including Recommendations from people who are in a position to endorse you based on your work experience, it’s never been easier to showcase your credibility. Similar displays of credibility can be created on Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media platforms.

The so-called, and often self-professed ‘Social Media Guru’s’ call this evidence ‘Social Proof’ (most people call themselves guru’s because they can’t spell charlatan).

There is nothing new under the sun. Social Proof is a fancy word for reputation. You can’t outrun your character. If you’re cutting corners, doing just enough to not get fired, baiting and switching, leaving a trail of broken promises, and basically not adding much value to the marketplace, you will be found out. Literally at the speed of light known as the internet.

If you’re getting up every morning and starting early, working late, under-promising and over-delivering, and all in all, adding massive value, you will be found out, too. This is a good thing. Leverage the current methods of creating Social Proof and you’ll never worry about your next job, your next client, or your next project. Rock on!

 

Wipe Your Feet

“Do we live in a barn? Wipe your feet!” Ever hear that when you were a kid? I did, because my brothers and I  tramped in mud, leaves and God knows what else into our home. My Mom did a great job of keeping a clean house and didn’t want us messing it up with our carelessness.

Let’s apply that thinking to Social Media. Remember that every human being with a cell phone is effectively a media company. We can transmit Facebook posts, LinkedIn Status Updates, Tweets on Twitter, photos, video and just about anything else around the globe in seconds.

You’re leaving tracks one way or another. Is it mud or is it adding value? Wipe your feet. Leave the mud outside….off the internet and Social Media. Post good things. Add value. Most people have enough mud in their own homes and don’t need yours or mine.

You Are What You Eat

Years ago, I learned a very important success principle. You are what you eat. And you don’t eat with just your mouth. You consume with your eyes and ears too.

Small efforts repeated over time produce massive results. Like eating a Big Mac every day. Like watching the news every evening. Like hanging around with negative people.

This works both ways – whether we consume positive or negative. I’m suggesting positive. Go on a diet of positivity.

When you get up in the morning, repeat something positive while you’re brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Years ago, I taped positive quotes in my shower and read them over and over while I lathered up.

During your day, invest a few minutes feeding yourself positive thoughts in terms of uplifting quotes and videos on YouTube. They’re pretty easy to find.

Make sure right before you go to sleep at night that you read 15 minutes in a positive book. Don’t watch the news and don’t worry about being out of the loop. If it gets bad enough, someone will let you know.

What goes in, comes out. Feed on positivity and you’ll be happier, more wealthy, and a lot more fun to be around. I’d love to hear how this is working for you. You can do it!

 

Don’t Burn Bridges

The world feels like it’s getting smaller, but it’s the same size it has always been. It may be getting a littler bit warmer since Al Gore invented the internet, but it’s not getting any smaller.

It feels like it’s getting smaller because we’re seeing more and more every day how interconnected we really are. And as I always tell my audiences, “You can’t outrun your character.” However you are, you are online, offline, in the boardroom and in the 7-11.

Over the last few weeks I’ve had a few former bosses reach out to me and let me know that they’re looking to change careers or that they’ve been let go at their jobs. I let them know that if I can ever direct any opportunities their way, I’ll do so.

Don’t burn bridges. The people who worked for you at one point may be the ones you’re reaching out to when you need a hand up. And vice versa.

Regardless of your role or position in a company or in any organization build relationships. Invest in building relationships. In a crazy, fast-paced and often chaotic world, your relationships will see you through whatever comes your way.

Dinner With Friends

High tech is nice, but high touch is everything. It’s great connecting with people on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and many other Social Media platforms.

But when you can, get together face to face. Start a relationship online and then take it offline.

We’re all busier than ever. With all the traveling I do, it’s easy to not see friends face to face for long periods of time. I don’t like that so I decided to start a new tradition in 2012.

Once a month Karin and I host a dinner party at our home for friends and people we’d like to get to know better. Many of the people we’d like to know better we’ve come to know online through Social Media platforms.

I kinda like the 1950’s kinda feel of a dinner party. We have two or three couples and some singles and they bring their kids. I cook a nice meal and we all have some wine, beer, soda or whatever. We play Trivia Pursuit, ping-pong, Wii, Pictionary or something else fun.

Spending time face to face is a lot different than just reading someone’s Facebook updates, and a great way to maintain relationships. What are you doing in 2012 to connect more deeply with the people you enjoy spending time with?

 

True Clout Has Nothing To Do With Klout

As more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media for their business and personal lives, there are more services that are popping up and attempting to accelerate the process.

One of the services that has been around for some time is Klout, which enables people to generate a form of influence ranking.

That’s all well and good, but I’ll go with time-tested, proven clout.

The dictionary defines clout as, “pull, strong influence”.

Don’t worry about trying to generate clout. Do the right thing. Every time. Do what you say you’re going to do. Under-promise and over-deliver. Get up early and work hard. Add massive value. Pay attention to the little things. Don’t sacrifice long-term success for short-term gain.

Clout is like nature. It will grow in its own time when we follow true success principles.

And don’t worry about what other people think of you. What other people think of you is none of your business. Do the right thing and let the chips fall where they will. And the irony is that any time you spend worrying about your clout is sure to diminish your true clout.

Gifts That Are Not In Little Blue Tiffany Boxes

As you’re winding down 2011, I’m sure you’re taking a few minutes to review the year and take stock of how it all panned out. Did you hit your goals? Did you have goals? How did your job or business fare in 2011? Despite the economic tsunami, did you stay afloat or perhaps even thrive?

Think about your professional and personal relationships. How are you doing with the people you work with? Look back at December of 2010 and think of how your professional relationships were then and ask yourself if there’s been any change between then and now? Is it for the better or worse? There is no status quo in relationships.

How about your personal relationships? How’s it going with your spouse, kids, relatives, and friends? Take a minute and ask yourself if these relationships are getting stronger or are they getting weaker? Remember that kids often spell love as “time.” And spouses are kids with long, hairy legs.

Regardless of how 2011 worked out for you, give thanks. We have a lot to be thankful for. Our health, families, country, and many other things should be on our thankful list. I’ve always thought that it’s nice that Thanksgiving and Christmas come so close together. And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, insert your holiday of choice. This season is the perfect time to give thanks, spread the love, and to celebrate.

In the holiday season, we’re used to giving gifts. So let’s take that spirit to our interactions on Social Media platforms. During the month of December, set a goal to invest ten minutes every morning giving gifts. Gifts that cost you nothing. Gifts that touch people and make them feel better. Gifts of appreciation.

Get your morning cup of coffee and plop down in front of your computer and pull up Facebook. Go to your home page and see who is having a birthday today. Post a birthday message on their Wall. If you’d like to post something cool for them, feel free to go to my Wall and copy and paste the birthday greeting that I send people every day. I’m at www.facebook.com/kevinjknebl and if we’re not already friends, feel free to “friend me.” See what’s going on in your Facebook friends’ lives and click the “Like” button or make brief comments on their posts letting them know that you appreciate them. Or just wish them happy holidays. Just be sincere.

Then go on over to LinkedIn and look at the Status Updates of your connections. You can refine the updates to show recent Recommendations, Postings, Pictures, etc. I like seeing who has recently changed their profile picture and sending them a message like “Hey Bob, nice new mug shot. Looking good, bro. Happy holidays, Kev”.  Touch people. People like to know that someone is thinking of them. Spread the holiday love.

Gifts don’t have to come in little blue Tiffany boxes. Gifts don’t have to come with big bows on them like in the Lexus commercials. Often the greatest gifts are the ones that touch our heart. There’s usually a correlation between sincere, inexpensive, unexpected gifts and the recipient’s warmest thoughts for the giver. Take a little time this season to let people know that you’re thinking of them. Don’t try to position them for business in 2012. Don’t you dare mention your business. Just let them know that you care. End 2011 on a warm note with your professional and personal relationships, and you will start 2012 on the right foot. Happy holidays.

It Makes No Sense To Worry

Is it just me or are you hearing people mention more and more that they’re worried about this, that, and the other thing?

There’s an old saying that’s worked for me over the years, that goes like this, “It makes no sense to worry about things that you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And it makes no sense to worry about things that you do have control over, because if you do have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them.”

There you go. Any need for worry has been eliminated. Carry on.

Attention Is The Most Valuable Commodity

In this more and more hyper-competitive, over-caffeinated, 24/7/365, Blackberry/Crackberry, Mach 5 with your receding hairline on fire world, one of the most valuable commodities on earth is attention. Yes, attention. You’re reading this right now. I am blessed to have your attention.

Knowing this, always be asking yourself how you can over-deliver in the value department with everyone you come into contact with. Everyone. Not just the folks who you think may end up being your clients. Not just the people who you think may end up referring business to you. Everyone.

The world seems to be getting smaller, but it’s not. It’s just that we’re now able to see all the hidden connections we already had, and we’re able to add more value to more people in more ways that we couldn’t have imagined ten years ago.

Get people’s attention by becoming sincerely interested in them and their business and personal lives. The technical term for this is “being friendly.” One of the smartest decisions you can make is deciding to study friendliness with the same vigor that you studied whatever you’ve chosen as a career. Because friendliness is critical to your career.

People are in a hurry. Get their attention by over-delivering. Even if it’s only over-delivering in the smile department. You’re a mosquito in a nudist colony of opportunity. And don’t forget, you only have to apply this to every human you come in contact with for the rest of your life. Easy peasy. It’s actually never been easier to get people’s attention. The simplest and most profitable math you’ll ever do is adding value.

Outcare Everyone Else By Listening Better

I love my barber. I love getting my hair cut because I get to sit and talk with Morris. He’s been cutting my hair for five years and although I moved a few months ago and he’s now 30 miles away, I still make the trip to see him.

He and I were talking this morning about gaining and keeping our best clients. He and I are in two very different lines of work, but not really.

We were talking about how little it takes to be above average. You do realize that just about everyone is average, don’t you? (that’s sarcastic, Jersey humor – which is redundant).

Yes, you need to be technically competent in your chosen profession. But that’s just admission to the game. If you don’t have that, you won’t be in the game for long. Buh-bye, thanks for playing.

By taking a sincere interest in your clients and would-be clients, you completely differentiate yourself from your competition.

Before you think that sounds too simple to be true, think back to your most recent amazing customer experience. Did it take you more than a few seconds to remember that? If so, you just proved my point.

Care more for people. I didn’t say clients, customers, or potential clients or customers. I said people. Treat people like people. Not customers.

Take a sincere interest in people by asking them questions about themselves. This is not difficult. It’s so simple, it’s amazing more people don’t do it.

Listening is an act of compassion. Ask sincere, thoughtful questions and then listen. Don’t interrupt, just listen. Don’t try to solve all their problems, just listen. Don’t see an opportunity to introduce your product or service. Don’t be a hammer in search of a nail. Be a caring human being willing to give the most valuable commodity in the world. Attention.

Listening is a sign of caring. And people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. It takes so little to be above average.

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The Most Positive Day Of The Year

We all have so much to be thankful for. It’s great that we have a holiday like Thanksgiving to remind us to count our blessings. By definition, it’s the most positive day of the year. If you were to continually watch television news, read newspapers, and listen to talk radio hosts, you’d probably come to the conclusion that we’re all going to hell in a hand basket. We’re not. And there’s a lot to be thankful for, even in this economy.

Having an attitude of gratitude serves us all in so many ways. Being thankful has been clinically proven to help people live longer. It’s just healthier to be thankful than to be bitter. It’s better for us emotionally also. So many aspects of our lives are affected by our emotions and being thankful is a great coping mechanism in good times and bad times.

Knowing that gratitude is a great attitude, it stands to reason that we can also help other people by becoming more grateful. Ever notice that people who have a pleasant disposition are more enjoyable to be around? You don’t need a Harvard Business Review white paper and a bunch of letters after your name to understand this. By being grateful and adopting the habit of gratitude, it will have a ripple effect on other people. People will start to enjoy being around you more.

There are certain kids that you would never let your kids hang around with. Why’s that? Because we know that those kids will have an effect on our kids.  And adults are just kids with long, hairy legs. We become like the people we associate with. By becoming a little more positive, we affect other people, which in turn comes back and affects us. So by becoming a little more positive, which happens automatically when we develop the habit of gratitude, we are actually making our own lives a little better through other people.

For most people, the only recognition they ever get, is when they screw something up. And they usually know they’ve screwed it up and don’t need other folks holding it over their heads. I’m no management guru, but here’s a simple tip: sneak up and catch people doing something right. A simple way to do this is with gratitude. Let people know that you appreciate them. Find something that you appreciate about them and let them know about it. And be specific. Don’t say, “You’re a really nice person.” Say, “I really like the way you handled that tough situation. You did it with grace when other folks would have blown a gasket. I appreciate that about you. You’re a nice person.”

Take a few moments and count your blessings. Genuinely think about your relationships with your spouse, your kids, your parents, your boss, your co-workers, and your clients. Be thankful for these people. And then let them know that you appreciate them. Surprise them with small, unexpected, inexpensive signs of appreciation.

Give thanks on Thanksgiving. And then give thanks the day after Thanksgiving. And then the day after that. And so on. Develop the attitude of gratitude. When you wake up in the morning as your eyes are slowly opening, lay in bed for an extra sixty seconds, stare at the ceiling and say “Thank you.” Every day can be the most positive day of the year. Happy Thanksgiving.

 

Give It Away

When I was a kid and my Mom took me to the butcher shop when we lived in Germany, I remember that the butcher would slice off a few pieces of deli meat and give them to me and my brothers. He would give samples. This is a smart business practice.

As I get to know my clients around the world in all different industries, I notice that some of them give samples and some of them don’t. And a “sample” could be a meeting, a consultation, a product or anything of value to the potential client or customer.

There was a time not too long ago, when people and businesses were very concerned about intellectual property. Intellectual property rights should be observed, but as we become more interconnected, I believe there’s good reason to loosen up a little bit.

Being tight-fisted regarding your content and services will not serve you or your business well in the long run. You’re actually telling your potential client more about yourself, the way you conduct business, and the type of relationship you’re potentially going to develop with them, than you probably realize you are.

By giving away samples, you are letting the potential client know a lot about you and your business. You’re exhibiting your generosity and starting to develop a “Know, Like, Trust” relationship.

Will some people run with your free, unpaid consulting from time to time? Yup. That’s just the cost of doing business. But people are pretty smart. We all like doing business with people who are generous and a delight to communicate with.

Give a little. Don’t give away the farm, but give value from the get-go with everyone.

What goes around comes around. As you’re going around, give a little more. And you might be pleasantly surprised as to how much more comes around.

 

 

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You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Post

Life moves pretty fast and if we really understood the impact that our words and actions have on other people and ultimately on ourselves, we’d probably be a little more selective with the things we say and do.

Every interaction with another person is either a deposit or a withdrawal from that particular relationship. Be smart and make deposits.

Negative comments and attitudes are withdrawals. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought.” I agree with that.

That doesn’t mean that you have to become a superman of positivity and beat yourself up if you have negative thoughts. Everyone has negative thoughts. The question is: do you dwell on it, let it fester and then spread it like a virus, or do you choose to change your thoughts and focus on positive things?

Take this line of thinking to Social Media. Everything you post is also either putting deposits in or taking withdrawals from the relationships you have with folks on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

We all have crap in our lives. And most people have enough crap of their own without needing us throwing ours on them. Post positive, not negative. Spread the love, not the hate.

Long term, nothing good comes from spewing negative. And it’s definitely not a luxury.

Remember that when people think of you, they immediately have a picture and feeling of you based on every interaction they’ve ever had with you.  Give them something good to think about.

 

I Noticed That You Viewed My LinkedIn Profile

On the right-hand side of your LinkedIn homepage is a very interesting button called “Who’s Viewed Your Profile”. Depending on how a person’s LinkedIn settings are configured you can see with some limited visibility who’s been looking at your LinkedIn profile. Huge door of opportunity alert.

Many people spend a lot of mental power trying to think up clever back door ways of doing things and getting people’s attention when they could just walk up to the nine-hundred-pound elephant in the middle of the room and hug it.

I check this LinkedIn feature everyday and send a message to the people who’ve viewed my profile. Here’s my standard message:

“Hi Bob, 

I noticed that you viewed my LinkedIn Profile. 

I’m all about paying-it-forward and adding massive value and I’d like you to make me prove it. 

May I help or serve you in some way? 

To your massive success, 
Kev”

I couldn’t begin to tell you the number of great relationships this has started, speaking and training opportunities booked, and other serendipities that have resulted as a result of me just extending my hand in friendship to people who obviously have some interest in me for some reason.

Make sure you’re making the most of every human interaction. Huge doors of opportunity swing on little, tiny hinges. Hear that creaking? That’s another hinge. And by the way….another word for hinges is relationships.