Some rights reserved by I Feel Toast Being originally from Jersey, I have some Jerseyisms in my speech that will probably never go away. One of those Jerseyisms is the word “tell.” This is also a Vegas expression. There are few things I enjoy more than watching and listening to people. When I speak in Vegas, I love spending time in the casinos. I don’t spend money in the casinos but I do spend time there. You’ll often see people at the gambling tables wearing dark sunglasses and hats. They’re not doing this because they’re trying to be fashion icons. They’re doing this to hide their “tells.” Tells are things that give us away. They’re clues. And we’re giving them away all the time. Women tend to pick up on tells quicker than men. Not trying to be sexist here, but let’s face it…women just tend to see things coming …
Don’t Forget the Social in Social Media
Social Media is sweeping around the world extremely quickly. You can't go anywhere without hearing about Facebook or seeing a LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube or Twitter logo on something. It's an amazing time to be alive. Our kids who are growing up with this don't know any different. This is just the way it is. And it's not going away. Some people are using Social Media in stealth mode, meaning they're observing and not engaging in online conversations. Actually, stealth mode is a very powerful tool in your bag when you're keeping tabs on your competition and watching what people are talking about. This information can be very valuable to you if you're thinking about launching a business or introducing a new product or service. But don't forget the social in Social Media. Many people are hiding behind their computers. I've heard it said that this is a very lonely …
Little Things are Indicators of Bigger Things
UPFRONT DISCLAIMER: Kevin Knebl is not a psychologist. The information in this post is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This information is provided for your general information only. Kevin Knebl does not give medical or psychological advice or engage in the practice of psychology or medicine. Kevin Knebl under no circumstances recommends particular treatment for specific individuals and in all cases recommends that you consult your physician or local treatment center before pursuing any course of treatment. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk. We all do certain things on a daily basis that enable us to make a living and enjoy our lives. There are also many things that we do on a daily basis that may not be serving us very well. Let’s talk about these unproductive things briefly in the hope of reducing …
A Very Effective Appreciation Marketing Strategy
In this fast paced Web 3.0 world, there are some time proven strategies that are even easier to implement now than they were back when an eight-track player was state of the art technology. People who take the time to learn about their prospects, clients, referral sources and networking partners win over the people who don’t. Only every time. For years I’ve been telling my audiences to learn about The Mackay 66. Harvey Mackay is the owner of an envelope company and he’s always taught his salespeople to use what he calls “The Mackay 66”. It’s a simple questionnaire that you populate over time as you learn more about your prospects and clients. Everything from where they went to school to what status symbols are in their office to their favorite drink. Here’s a downloadable PDF of The Mackay 66: http://www.harveymackay.com/pdfs/mackay66.pdf Gathering this information is doing your due diligence. You …
How to Make People Feel Appreciated on 10 Minutes A Day
People who succeed know that “all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.” So how do we grow our “Know, Like, Trust Factor” or what I call our “Like-Ability”? One way to do this is to compliment people. And to do it sincerely. For most people, the only recognition they receive is when they screw something up. And ironically, most of the time they already know they screwed it up and don’t appreciate other people reminding them. Any mediocre manager can point out what people have done wrong. As Dale Carnegie said,”Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. And most fools do.” There’s a huge difference between a manager and a leader but we’ll save that for another post. In order to make people feel appreciated….ready….wait for it….appreciate them. Rocket science, huh? I’m not smart enough to learn Harvard Business …
How’s Your Like-Ability Factor?
All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust. True as gravity. Always has been and always will be. We know this intuitively and yet so few people take the time to increase their “Like-Ability Factor.” I think that people would invest the time to increase their Like-Ability Factor if they knew the returns that it would provide them. Our likeability isn’t about insincerity or manipulation. At least not the way that most people think about manipulation. Actually, if you look up manipulation in the dictionary, it means “to handle skillfully.” I’m guessing that most people would love to be handled skillfully instead of treated poorly. It’s a no-brainer. We are programmed to think that the more degrees we have and the higher up the ladder we climb the better off we are. I don’t know that that’s accurate. Our likeability …
Be Enthusiastic And Attract Success
When we are kids we tend to have a vibrant appreciation of life. Sometime between being a kid and being an adult that sense of wonderment gets stifled for most people. That’s unfortunate, since adults are just kids with long, hairy legs. What does this have to do with networking or business? A lot, actually. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust. One of the key words in that statement is “like.” People like people who take a sincere interest in them. People like people who are happy. People like people who bring joy to other people. People like people who are likeable. Notice that’s “like-able”. When we’re enthusiastic, others tend to become enthusiastic also. Enthusiasm actually means, “God within”. But we’ll leave that for another post. Act enthusiastic, be enthusiastic. I’m not talking about bouncing off the walls …
Appreciation Makes The Difference
Learning to develop an appreciative attitude and expressing appreciation is a very important life skill. Being appreciative shows that we have an attitude of gratitude. In today’s busy world we sometimes forget how much we can be appreciative of. All we have to do is open our eyes to all the blessings that surround us. We’re mosquitoes in a nudist colony of abundance. When we don’t appreciate the blessings in our lives we probably have also forgotten some of the interpersonal niceties that make life easier. Things like saying please and thank you. As simplistic as it may sound, these simple words can work wonders in our lives. Our parents taught us these things for a reason. They’re a form of politeness and also a way to attract things into our lives. We get what we give. So when we are appreciative of other people they are appreciative of us. …
Do You Have Customers or Friends?
In business as in personal life we know that we should stay in touch with people. The old saying “Out of sight, out of mind” is really true. That’s why it’s an old saying. We do forget about people that we don’t see or hear from frequently. In a more and more hyper-competitive, over-caffeinated, Crackberry, 24/7/365 world it’s easy to lose touch with people and most people do. Many people are looking for ways to keep their name or their company’s name in front of people. My simple philosophy on this is “Be a friend.” Now before you think this is some starry-eyed, kumbaya, group hug post let me point out something. For the seriously jaded folks that think “we just have to keep pitching our product or services all the time”…how’s that working out? I’m guessing not so good. What’s that definition of insanity again? “Doing the same thing …
Always Be Connecting
There’s a saying that many sales trainers use quite frequently which is, “Always be closing.” If we’re “always closing” then the people we do business with will always feel pressure. Most people don’t like pressure and don’t want to “be closed.” Most of us want to be relaxed and comfortable in buying situations. And, quite frankly, in all situations. I prefer the term, “Always be connecting.” Knowing that all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust…connecting is a far better strategy than closing. And I’m hesitant to even use the term strategy. That sounds too “M.B.A.” to me. If friendship is a strategy than I guess I’m a strategist. I prefer to think I’m just a friend. As we take a sincere interest in other people, good things start to show up. Good things like job opportunities, referrals, clients, joy, …
Why Networking Is Important
Remember the old days (in the last century) when your parents told you to go to school, stay out of trouble, keep your nose clean, study hard, get good grades, get a good job, work there for 40 or 50 years, retire, move to Florida and enjoy the good life? Were you told this like I was? How’s that working out? That may have worked at some point way back in the past, but even ten year olds know that it doesn’t work this way today. Networking has always been a smart thing to do and never more so than today. Especially today. Networking is the cultivating of mutually beneficial, give-and-take, win-win relationships. In a more and more interconnected world it is very smart to build strong networks. The days of working in a silo and not connecting with folks outside of your silo are over. Just look at Social …
Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
Most folks know that I am a bit of a Carneholic. That's a Dale Carnegie-aholic. "Hello, my name is Kev, and I'm a Carneholic." Whether I'm speaking onstage on Online or Offline Networking, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter or anything else (and God knows I fall into some rabbit holes), you can bet your life that at some point in my speaking or training engagement, the Carneholic will emerge. This is because Dale's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has made such a major difference in my life. And not just my life, but a lot of other people's lives also. One of the Carnegie maxims is "Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain". This is profoundly simple wisdom. And something that should be taught to every child from the moment of their birth. We become like the people we associate with whether we're young or old. And most of …
WIIFM
When you're networking remember that everyone has WIIFM written on their forehead in invisible ink. "What's In It For Me?" This is true regardless of the person's age, gender, occupation or anything else. There are some things that we all share in common and this is one of them. There is no subject that is more interesting to each of us than ourselves. So the best networkers remember this and use it to create win-win relationships. Now, let's clarify upfront that we're not talking about manipulation or slickness. Although, if you look up manipulation in the dictionary it means "to handle skillfully". Most of us could use a little more skillful handling although the word "manipulation" is usually used in a negative connotation. So, knowing that people like to talk about themselves, it's not a stretch to realize that the other person is looking for a way for this …
Kick It Up A Notch
Because people can't read minds, we make decisions about the folks that we meet and network based on things like clothes, body language, eye contact and other factors. Of course, we also make decisions based on the other person's credibility as it relates to what kind of work they do. But there is something that a lot of people don't think about when they're networking that they should notice about themselves and others. Enthusiasm. Are we giving the impression that we enjoy the kind of work that we do? Are we giving the impression that we're interested in the other person? Quite often, people don't realize that they are sending mixed signals. Have you ever met the person who says they're excited and you're thinking "Why don't you notify your face?" I meet them from time to time. People are picking up subtle clues all the time as to the …
Listening Is So Important
We never outgrow the need to have our feelings known and much of the conflict in our lives can be explained by one simple fact: people don’t really listen to each other. In a more and more hyper-paced world we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we can do more than one thing at a time. The truth is that we just end up doing one thing poorly after another. We’ve gained unparalleled access to information and lost something very important. We’ve lost the habit of concentrating our attention. The simple art of listening isn’t so simple. Take the time to focus and listen to people. Regardless of how much we take it for granted, the importance of listening cannot be overestimated. The gift of our attention and understanding makes other people feel validated and valued. Our ability to listen, and listen well, creates goodwill that comes back to us. …
Effective Networking Email Template
Effective networking is a lot like matchmaking. As you are out and about meeting people, always be thinking about who they should know. By taking a sincere interest in people and learning what kind of work they do, you will be able to refer people and resources to them. You can always tell when you’re dealing with a good networker when they say, “You know, I need to introduce you to so and so.” That differentiates them from a lot of people right there but the great networkers take it one more step. They actually facilitate the introduction. Anyone can say that I need to introduce you to so and so, but the pros actually do it. This may sound shocking, but so does the fact that people do things that they know are bad for them. We all do this in different areas of our lives. We’re all hypocrites …
Listen Up
We never outgrow the need to have our feelings known. When we meet people we need to remember that everyone likes to feel appreciated. Whether the person is a white collar, blue collar or no collar worker, we are all so much more similar than we are different. DNA has proven this. I’ve heard that all humans are genetically 99% the same. It’s the 1% difference that we tend to see and focus on. Skin color, height, gender, hair or lack thereof…you know the drill. I also recently heard that all life on earth is at least genetically 90% the same, whether you’re talking about a banana or a whale. Well, I know some people that have much more in common with bananas than humans, but I digress. Much of the conflict in our lives can be explained by one simple fact: people don’t really listen to each other. We …
Always Make It Personal
There was a time in business when there was your personal life and there was your business life. I think that most people would agree that those lives started to blur together a long time ago. With the advent of Social Networking, the dividing line has completely evaporated for a lot of us. Personally, I think this is a great thing. We’re not talking about stalking here, we’re talking about transparency. This is our opportunity to let people know that we’re not corporate drones and that we have souls and are compassionate. Being a great businessperson, networker, or whatever and caring about people are not mutually exclusive. We need to remember that we’re not dealing with companies, corporations, institutions and son on – we’re dealing with people. It’s easy to forget that sometimes, especially when you’re in line at the DMV and places like that. We feel like we’ve become …
Keep It Positive
We become like the people we associate with. This is true whether we’re five or fifty-five. There are certain kids that we don’t want our kids to hang around with. The reason for this is because we intuitively know that we become like the people we associate with and we don’t want our kids becoming like “those kids”. So, at what age does that change? It doesn’t. Adults are just kids with long, hairy legs. Just like little kids, we become like the people we associate with. Knowing this, it may serve us well to choose to associate with positive, uplifting people. I’m not talking about hanging around with people that are in denial that there is crap in the world; just people who choose to focus on the positive. Everyone has crap in their life and anyone who tells you that they don’t needs a checkup from the neck …
How May I Serve You?
There are a lot of strategies and techniques that are proposed to break people’s attention and get them to focus on us and our message. I find that most of these maneuvers are very self-serving and pretty simple to see through. I also believe that only every waking moment of our lives we are sending messages that I call “tells”. In Vegas, a “tell” is a sign that you give off unintentionally regarding what you’re holding in your hand. Actually, we give off “tells” all the time. The question is whether we are aware we are doing this or not. Not to be sexist, women tend to pick up on tells more frequently than men. Maybe it’s their intuition, or their experience in reading through a lot of b.s. from guys. Who knows? As guys, we often don’t realize that our body language, eye contact, intonation, listening, or lack of …