Have you ever thought about fear? I’ve always been someone who listens closely to people (although my wife may sometimes argue this isn’t accurate) and lately I have been listening very closely to people as they discuss the economy, the job market, the difficulty of current selling and a number of other topics. I’ve believed for many years that most people communicate from a position of fear most the time and don’t even know that they’re doing it. It’s the whole “the fish doesn’t know that it’s wet” thing. If you could go underwater and ask a fish what’s water like, the fish would look at you and say “what’s water?” They’re born in it, they live in it and they die in it. They don’t know any different. Probably the only time that a fish even knows that water exists is when you take it out of the water. …
Our Parents Were Right
Remember the things we used to hear from our parents when we were kids, “Say please. Say thank you. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. If you keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that.” Well. maybe you didn’t hear that last one in your house. Our folks were right. Common courtesy ain’t so common any more. Matter of fact, it’s often as rare as a Kardashian sister using her library card. Common courtesy makes human interaction go so much more smoothly. It’s amazing to see what happens in conversations when we actually say please, thank you and apologize when we need to. I bring this up because on Social Media platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter it’s very common to see people telling you that you should “Like” their Fan Page, or retweet their tweets on Twitter. Maybe it’s just me, …
Pick Up The Phone And Call Your Social Media Connections
When you’re new to learning about Social Media, the tendency is to focus on huge numbers of Connections, Friends and Followers. This is normal. We all like things that look impressive and big numbers look impressive. Prior to Facebook, where else could you have thousands of “friends”? It feeds our ego. Once the new car smell of Social Media wears off, we realize that building relationships is far more powerful than just adding more connections. Yes, adding connections is important. But you already have a phone book with tens of thousands of connections. If it was just about connections, you already have more than enough in your Yellow and White Pages. Are you “connecting” with your Social Media connections? Really connecting? For one week, schedule 20 minutes into your day to pick up the phone and call two of your new connections per day. If their phone number isn’t on …
Social Media Reveals Your Character
As I’ve spoken on stages all over for years on Social Media, there is something that I’ve observed countless times. Many people seem to think that if they can just gather a bajillion connections on Social Media sites, then the clouds will part and the money will fall out of the heavens. This thought actually reveals far more about these people than they probably even realize about themselves. It reveals that they think of people as commodities and they have a lottery mentality regarding wealth. How naive. However we are offline, we are probably the same way online, because we can’t outrun our character. No matter where we go, there we are. You can tell a heck of a lot about someone by looking at their Social Media profiles, just like you can tell a lot about them if you chat with them at a networking event. If all they …
Lighten Up
Have you noticed that with all these new communication technologies that some people are being very serious? Communication technologies such as a pencil, two cans with a string, a cell phone or the internet always reveal the person who is using them. Our thoughts, ideas and feelings pass through them, but we are not the technology. Many people are constantly talking about the tools. Yes, they are amazing. But what is transmitted through them is the message. And I’m finding that people’s messages are often quite heavy. I propose that folks lighten up a bit. Being professional and having a personality are not mutually exclusive. When you’re professional and aren’t afraid to inject your personality into business conversations, things become much more fun for everyone involved. Adults are kids with long, hairy legs. If you’re disagreeing with me, you’ve really lost touch with who you are. One of the beautiful …
In Sales, Seek To Help And Earn The Relationship
As more and more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media to help grow their sales, it serves us well to remember some of the basics of effective selling. The best salespeople seek to help. That may sound obvious, but it’s not. So many salespeople are trying to sell what they have to everyone instead of being targeted in their selling efforts. It makes more sense to find people who are interested in your product and service and help them. Social Media allows you to do this. You can observe discussion threads in LinkedIn Groups, you can follow conversations regarding Twitter hashtags, and you can see interactions on Facebook Fan Pages. These are all valuable sources of sales leads. Learn to skim information and identify places where you can help. And help doesn’t mean, “Buy my product, buy my product.” Just remember not to kiss on …
Sometimes Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast
As we all become more and more connected, we’re finding that it still takes time to build relationships. We have the ability to learn tremendous amounts about people from a distance hiding behind our computers. I’m not talking about stalking here. Stalking is trying to find out something about someone that they don’t want you to find out about them. I’m talking about looking at their Social Networking profiles and figuring out who they represent themselves to be and determining if this is someone you’d like to connect with. We can add connections with lightning-like speed, but relationships still take time, and always will. Just because you’re connected to everybody and their brother doesn’t mean that you have a relationship with everyone and their brother. And it doesn’t mean you should have a relationship with everyone and their brother. You can’t. There just isn’t enough time in one lifetime. So …
Here’s to a Blessed 2011!
Well, we made it. For many folks, 2010 was somewhat of a nightmare. Unless you were living on an island somewhere with a volleyball named Wilson, you know what I’m talking about. 2010 is behind us, so let’s start 2011 the right way. Let’s be thankful for all that happened in 2010. Even the crappy things. Gratitude wakes us up and helps us realize that it’s not what happens, but how we handle it. If you’re only grateful for the good things that happen, is that really gratitude? Gratitude is an attitude. It’s the attitude that no matter what happens, it’s all a lesson and something we can learn from, even if it’s learning what not to do. That’s called wisdom. You can get bitter or you can get better. Let’s start 2011 with the attitude that everything is a blessing, even if we don’t realize it at the time. …
Thoreau Was Right
“Men have become tools of their tools.” -Henry David Thoreau Thoreau wrote those words a long time ago. And I’m sure they were appropriate back then. And we all know that they’re very appropriate now. There’s a current cell phone ad that points this out brilliantly with people banging into each other and tripping over things while they’re staring incessantly at their cell phones. When did it become acceptable to ignore people and become obsessed with electronics? I don’t claim to be much better than anyone else when it comes to electronic addiction, but I’m getting a lot better. I had to hit bottom before I was ready to come back up for air. And that’s a lot what it’s like – fighting for air. With every new gadget, app, and toy we’re fighting for air, also known as concentration. It may serve us well to set boundaries for our …
Everything is a “Tell”
Some rights reserved by I Feel Toast Being originally from Jersey, I have some Jerseyisms in my speech that will probably never go away. One of those Jerseyisms is the word “tell.” This is also a Vegas expression. There are few things I enjoy more than watching and listening to people. When I speak in Vegas, I love spending time in the casinos. I don’t spend money in the casinos but I do spend time there. You’ll often see people at the gambling tables wearing dark sunglasses and hats. They’re not doing this because they’re trying to be fashion icons. They’re doing this to hide their “tells.” Tells are things that give us away. They’re clues. And we’re giving them away all the time. Women tend to pick up on tells quicker than men. Not trying to be sexist here, but let’s face it…women just tend to see things coming …
Adults are Just Kids with Long Hairy Legs
There are few things I enjoy more than people watching. I can sit for hours and watch people. When you watch people you learn a lot about them. Like how some people are very comfortable in their own skin and how others try hard to be something they’re not. Isn’t if funny how we sometimes think we have to act a certain way? I’m writing this in a kid’s indoor amusement park. It’s a place that Karin and I sometimes bring the kids and today my son is here for a classmate’s birthday party. I’m sitting in the large dining room catching up on some email and watching people. It’s pretty funny. You see the parents that are trying to look like they have it all together and you see the parents that are relaxed and having a lot of fun. I think that we parents can learn a lot …
Gratitude is the Attitude
Gratitude is the Attitude These are times when a lot of people are unsure of the future and downright scared. The media doesn’t help instill much of a feeling of confidence, either. Like a garden, we tend to get more of what we plant. So, if we’re planting fear in our minds we will get more of it. I’m not suggesting that we stick our heads in the sand and live in denial that these are difficult times. Hiding from reality just delays the inevitable. I’m suggesting that even while we’re dealing with the daily barrage of negative, we should look for and appreciate the good things that we have in our lives. Of all the tools to combat depression, anxiety, negativity, and physical or emotional illness, gratitude is the most effective – and the easiest – method. Many people have taken up certain practices like yoga, exercise and better …
Little Things are Indicators of Bigger Things
UPFRONT DISCLAIMER: Kevin Knebl is not a psychologist. The information in this post is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This information is provided for your general information only. Kevin Knebl does not give medical or psychological advice or engage in the practice of psychology or medicine. Kevin Knebl under no circumstances recommends particular treatment for specific individuals and in all cases recommends that you consult your physician or local treatment center before pursuing any course of treatment. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk. We all do certain things on a daily basis that enable us to make a living and enjoy our lives. There are also many things that we do on a daily basis that may not be serving us very well. Let’s talk about these unproductive things briefly in the hope of reducing …
How to Make People Feel Appreciated on 10 Minutes A Day
People who succeed know that “all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.” So how do we grow our “Know, Like, Trust Factor” or what I call our “Like-Ability”? One way to do this is to compliment people. And to do it sincerely. For most people, the only recognition they receive is when they screw something up. And ironically, most of the time they already know they screwed it up and don’t appreciate other people reminding them. Any mediocre manager can point out what people have done wrong. As Dale Carnegie said,”Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. And most fools do.” There’s a huge difference between a manager and a leader but we’ll save that for another post. In order to make people feel appreciated….ready….wait for it….appreciate them. Rocket science, huh? I’m not smart enough to learn Harvard Business …
Passion Gets Your Attention
I was lying on the bed last evening surfing the channels while Karin was making dinner in the kitchen. I don’t typically watch a lot of news, but as I was passing the news with Brian Williams, he was interviewing someone and I stopped on the channel. The reason I stopped was because the person he was interviewing was exuding passion. And not the trumped up kind. This guy was sincere. His name is Geoffrey Canada and he is the CEO of the Harlem Children’s Zone. This guy is passionate about helping kids. It is oozing out of him. I like that. You can tell that this guy walks his talk and you don’t see that every day. It was interesting to observe his style and Brian Williams’ style. Brian is cool and reserved as you would expect of a newscaster. Geoffrey was wearing his heart on his sleeve and …
How’s Your Like-Ability Factor?
All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust. True as gravity. Always has been and always will be. We know this intuitively and yet so few people take the time to increase their “Like-Ability Factor.” I think that people would invest the time to increase their Like-Ability Factor if they knew the returns that it would provide them. Our likeability isn’t about insincerity or manipulation. At least not the way that most people think about manipulation. Actually, if you look up manipulation in the dictionary, it means “to handle skillfully.” I’m guessing that most people would love to be handled skillfully instead of treated poorly. It’s a no-brainer. We are programmed to think that the more degrees we have and the higher up the ladder we climb the better off we are. I don’t know that that’s accurate. Our likeability …
It Takes So Little To Be Above Average
We hear in the media that opportunities are scarce and that these are tough times. Yes, they are tough times but there are ways to position yourself more favorably for opportunities. And some of the best ways have nothing to do with advanced degrees. I’m a big fan of common sense. And while I don’t claim to have the market cornered on common sense (just ask my wife), I have learned some things over the years. I think that one of the best ways to attract success is to do just a little more than the next guy. This is so easy that it’s almost laughable. Most folks are doing just enough to not get fired. They’re pretty average. Now, don’t think that this is a value judgment on people, it’s an observation. Everyone has worth as a person but many people act like they don’t realize it. We tend …
Be Enthusiastic And Attract Success
When we are kids we tend to have a vibrant appreciation of life. Sometime between being a kid and being an adult that sense of wonderment gets stifled for most people. That’s unfortunate, since adults are just kids with long, hairy legs. What does this have to do with networking or business? A lot, actually. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust. One of the key words in that statement is “like.” People like people who take a sincere interest in them. People like people who are happy. People like people who bring joy to other people. People like people who are likeable. Notice that’s “like-able”. When we’re enthusiastic, others tend to become enthusiastic also. Enthusiasm actually means, “God within”. But we’ll leave that for another post. Act enthusiastic, be enthusiastic. I’m not talking about bouncing off the walls …
Appreciation Makes The Difference
Learning to develop an appreciative attitude and expressing appreciation is a very important life skill. Being appreciative shows that we have an attitude of gratitude. In today’s busy world we sometimes forget how much we can be appreciative of. All we have to do is open our eyes to all the blessings that surround us. We’re mosquitoes in a nudist colony of abundance. When we don’t appreciate the blessings in our lives we probably have also forgotten some of the interpersonal niceties that make life easier. Things like saying please and thank you. As simplistic as it may sound, these simple words can work wonders in our lives. Our parents taught us these things for a reason. They’re a form of politeness and also a way to attract things into our lives. We get what we give. So when we are appreciative of other people they are appreciative of us. …
Do You Have Customers or Friends?
In business as in personal life we know that we should stay in touch with people. The old saying “Out of sight, out of mind” is really true. That’s why it’s an old saying. We do forget about people that we don’t see or hear from frequently. In a more and more hyper-competitive, over-caffeinated, Crackberry, 24/7/365 world it’s easy to lose touch with people and most people do. Many people are looking for ways to keep their name or their company’s name in front of people. My simple philosophy on this is “Be a friend.” Now before you think this is some starry-eyed, kumbaya, group hug post let me point out something. For the seriously jaded folks that think “we just have to keep pitching our product or services all the time”…how’s that working out? I’m guessing not so good. What’s that definition of insanity again? “Doing the same thing …