I travel a lot. I get to see some amazing places and visit some incredible locations. I get to eat in fine restaurants and also at McDonald’s. I stay in five-star resorts and in fleabag motels. I experience a lot of contrast on a daily basis. And no matter where I go, there’s always one thing that’s consistent. People are people wherever you go. Regardless of whether they’re wearing a Rolex or a Timex, whether they’re picking me up at the airport in a Mercedes S500, or a rusted out Yugo, whether they’ve got a bunch of letters after their name or they can barely write, people are the same wherever you go. We all want to be appreciated, have fun, be loved and feel safe. We want to be happy. We want to make a difference. We want to have an impact. Remember this as you’re spending time on …
Be An Example
The best way to teach is by example. This applies to everything including Social Media. People tend to become like the people they associate with and that explains why so many people are negative. But you don’t have to be. Just as in real life, when you’re a downer, people don’t want to hang out with you. The same applies to LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Post positive, uplifting things. This doesn’t mean that you’re some Pollyanna who denies that there’s a lot of crap out there. It means that you choose what to focus on. Be an example of someone who understands that people have enough crap in their lives and you’re not here to add to it. Be a ray of sunshine in people’s day. Regardless of the business you’re in. Because whatever business it appears that you’re in, we’re really all in the same business. The people business. …
Remember the Phone?
As you’re connecting with everyone on Social Media platforms, don’t forget that people are more than their static profile pictures and postings. Part of adding value to people is getting to know them better. As busy as we all are, we choose how to spend our time. Some folks choose to invest their time instead of spending it. We all spend time in our cars. Invest a little bit of time every day calling your Social Media-mates on the phone while you’re cruising down the road. Holy crap – did I say call them on the phone?! Yup, I did. Start the conversation with, “Hi Mary! I only have a quick minute, but I was thinking of you and wanted to call and say hi.” By starting with letting them know that you only have a tiny bit of time, they’ll know that this isn’t going to be a “War …
Think Win-Win
Success is based on relationships. People who are truly succeeding know this intuitively. Nothing and no one operates in a vacuum. As you build your life, business, etc, focus on only participating in, building, and enhancing mutually beneficial, win-win relationships. The days of being a Rambo and leaving a bunch of bad relationships in your wake as you strive to “get ahead” are over. What goes around comes around and nowadays it comes around at the speed of light. Literally. If it’s not going to be a win-win situation, walk away. Run to win-win relationships and life is an exciting and profitable adventure.
Offer to Help Those Looking at Your LinkedIn Profile
One of the neat features of LinkedIn is the ability to see who’s looking at your profile. There are some limitations to this, but it can be a valuable tool if you use it correctly. It will serve you well to take a minute every morning to see who has been checking you out. How about sending them a message like, “Hi Mary, I noticed that you were looking at my profile. Thanks for taking a few minutes out of your busy day to check me out. How may I serve you in some way? I always seek to add value to all my personal and professional relationships. I’d love to help you in some way. Make me prove it. Kev :)” Now, you may be thinking, “Really? You would type something like that?” Word for friggin word, my friend. And “friggin” isn’t a cuss word, it’s a New Jersey …
Speak Their Language
Remember that everyone has “WIIFM” written on their forehead in invisible ink. WIIFM stand for “What’s in it for me?” I just returned from a speaking engagement for a multi-billion dollar financial services firm. They’re one of my favorite clients and I’ve been blessed to meet some amazing people there and they’ve introduced me to many other amazing people. I was speaking on using Social Media as a tool to add value to client and potential client relationships. There was a very savvy businessman there who said that he’s not active on any SM platforms and that he’s had many people try to get him on SM platforms. He and I shared a limo ride to the airport after my presentation. He very kindly said to me that no one had ever presented this content in a way that compelled him to participate, but that he was going to now. …
KISS: Keep It Simple Sweetie
Most people are super busy and don’t have the time to try to read minds. As you’re conveying information and value to your prospects, clients, and referral sources, remember that people want content in an easily digestible format. Many people try to impress others by attempting to look smart when they’re sharing information. Don’t do this. Keep it simple. Don’t worry about how they perceive you. Their opinion of you is none of your business. What does KISS stand for? Most folks will say, “Keep it simple stupid.” I disagree. It stands for “Keep it simple sweetie.” Oh, the difference one word makes. Always take the high road. Keep it positive. Convey information and value in simple ways. Ironically, the easier it is for people to understand you the more likely you will develop more “Know-Like-Trust” relationships. And that is sweet. Sweetie.
People Skills Beat Computer Skills…Only Every Time
Some people still tell me, “I’ll get connected to everyone and their brother on Social Media sites and the clouds will part and the money will fall out of heaven.” They don’t say it in those exact words, but their intentions are clear. They think that the number of connections, friends and followers they have is an indication of their future income. Actually, it’s only a representation of the possibility of their future income. And if I may be so bold, let’s take the income equation off the table. Because if you add enough value to your connections, friends and followers then and only then will you be in a position to derive a steady income as a result of effective networking. If connecting to a ton of people guarantees riches, shouldn’t everyone with a phone book be a millionaire? Exactly. Study people skills. Break out your “How to Win …
The “Three Foot Rule”
Many people think they have to have letters like “M.B.A” or “Ph.D” after their name in order to succeed. Now, I’m not putting down higher education, but there are some very simple things that we can do to increase our chances of success. One of them is developing a “Three Foot Rule”. This is probably the easiest and most profitable habit you’ll ever start. And by profitable, I don’t just mean financial profit, although that’s certainly there. I mean happiness profit. I mean piece of mind profit. I mean joy profit. Starting right now, whenever someone comes within three feet of you, smile at them. That’s it. Seminar over. You may have been expecting something more complicated than that. If you were, you, like me, were taught that life is complicated. We were duped. Life is easy. Taxes are complicated. Trigonometry is complicated. Dealing with a jackass boss who has …
Click The “Like” Button
Everyday I read on Facebook about people being pregnant and people having babies. And I read about wars and rumors of wars and all the other “end of days” stuff that people refer to when things like the tsunami in Japan occur. At any given moment someone is experiencing amazing pain in their life and someone else is experiencing amazing joy in their life. It’s interesting to watch the cross-section of humanity on Facebook. You get an intriguing view into people’s lives. You see happiness, pain, agony, loss, joy, bliss and every other human emotion. And as compassionate beings, we tend to relate to these Facebook Friends. When someone you care about is going through something awful or when they are celebrating one of life’s great moments, you can observe, even if only from a distance. That’s nice. What’s even nicer is that we can let the other person know …
Enjoy The Social Media New Car Smell, Then Drive Like A Pro
When you buy a new car, there’s just something about that new car smell. You just enjoy opening up the door and settling into your plush seat and breathing in that odor. After a few years, you don’t really want to take too many whiffs of your old “new” car. And at that point you’re more concerned about your car getting you from Point A to Point B and keeping the repair costs down. It’s about the driving, not the smelling. When you’re just starting to realize what you can do with Social Media, you enjoy turning on your computer, BlackBerry, iPhone, whatever, and checking into Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube and whatever other Social Media sites you participate on. It’s the equivalent of the Social Media new car smell. After you’ve learned some about Social Media, the new car smell wears off a bit. Not completely, because they’re always creating …
Our Parents Were Right
Remember the things we used to hear from our parents when we were kids, “Say please. Say thank you. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. If you keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that.” Well. maybe you didn’t hear that last one in your house. Our folks were right. Common courtesy ain’t so common any more. Matter of fact, it’s often as rare as a Kardashian sister using her library card. Common courtesy makes human interaction go so much more smoothly. It’s amazing to see what happens in conversations when we actually say please, thank you and apologize when we need to. I bring this up because on Social Media platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter it’s very common to see people telling you that you should “Like” their Fan Page, or retweet their tweets on Twitter. Maybe it’s just me, …
Pick Up The Phone And Call Your Social Media Connections
When you’re new to learning about Social Media, the tendency is to focus on huge numbers of Connections, Friends and Followers. This is normal. We all like things that look impressive and big numbers look impressive. Prior to Facebook, where else could you have thousands of “friends”? It feeds our ego. Once the new car smell of Social Media wears off, we realize that building relationships is far more powerful than just adding more connections. Yes, adding connections is important. But you already have a phone book with tens of thousands of connections. If it was just about connections, you already have more than enough in your Yellow and White Pages. Are you “connecting” with your Social Media connections? Really connecting? For one week, schedule 20 minutes into your day to pick up the phone and call two of your new connections per day. If their phone number isn’t on …
Social Media Reveals Your Character
As I’ve spoken on stages all over for years on Social Media, there is something that I’ve observed countless times. Many people seem to think that if they can just gather a bajillion connections on Social Media sites, then the clouds will part and the money will fall out of the heavens. This thought actually reveals far more about these people than they probably even realize about themselves. It reveals that they think of people as commodities and they have a lottery mentality regarding wealth. How naive. However we are offline, we are probably the same way online, because we can’t outrun our character. No matter where we go, there we are. You can tell a heck of a lot about someone by looking at their Social Media profiles, just like you can tell a lot about them if you chat with them at a networking event. If all they …
Lighten Up
Have you noticed that with all these new communication technologies that some people are being very serious? Communication technologies such as a pencil, two cans with a string, a cell phone or the internet always reveal the person who is using them. Our thoughts, ideas and feelings pass through them, but we are not the technology. Many people are constantly talking about the tools. Yes, they are amazing. But what is transmitted through them is the message. And I’m finding that people’s messages are often quite heavy. I propose that folks lighten up a bit. Being professional and having a personality are not mutually exclusive. When you’re professional and aren’t afraid to inject your personality into business conversations, things become much more fun for everyone involved. Adults are kids with long, hairy legs. If you’re disagreeing with me, you’ve really lost touch with who you are. One of the beautiful …
In Sales, Seek To Help And Earn The Relationship
As more and more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media to help grow their sales, it serves us well to remember some of the basics of effective selling. The best salespeople seek to help. That may sound obvious, but it’s not. So many salespeople are trying to sell what they have to everyone instead of being targeted in their selling efforts. It makes more sense to find people who are interested in your product and service and help them. Social Media allows you to do this. You can observe discussion threads in LinkedIn Groups, you can follow conversations regarding Twitter hashtags, and you can see interactions on Facebook Fan Pages. These are all valuable sources of sales leads. Learn to skim information and identify places where you can help. And help doesn’t mean, “Buy my product, buy my product.” Just remember not to kiss on …
Sometimes Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast
As we all become more and more connected, we’re finding that it still takes time to build relationships. We have the ability to learn tremendous amounts about people from a distance hiding behind our computers. I’m not talking about stalking here. Stalking is trying to find out something about someone that they don’t want you to find out about them. I’m talking about looking at their Social Networking profiles and figuring out who they represent themselves to be and determining if this is someone you’d like to connect with. We can add connections with lightning-like speed, but relationships still take time, and always will. Just because you’re connected to everybody and their brother doesn’t mean that you have a relationship with everyone and their brother. And it doesn’t mean you should have a relationship with everyone and their brother. You can’t. There just isn’t enough time in one lifetime. So …
Everything is a “Tell”
Some rights reserved by I Feel Toast Being originally from Jersey, I have some Jerseyisms in my speech that will probably never go away. One of those Jerseyisms is the word “tell.” This is also a Vegas expression. There are few things I enjoy more than watching and listening to people. When I speak in Vegas, I love spending time in the casinos. I don’t spend money in the casinos but I do spend time there. You’ll often see people at the gambling tables wearing dark sunglasses and hats. They’re not doing this because they’re trying to be fashion icons. They’re doing this to hide their “tells.” Tells are things that give us away. They’re clues. And we’re giving them away all the time. Women tend to pick up on tells quicker than men. Not trying to be sexist here, but let’s face it…women just tend to see things coming …
Don’t Forget the Social in Social Media
Social Media is sweeping around the world extremely quickly. You can't go anywhere without hearing about Facebook or seeing a LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube or Twitter logo on something. It's an amazing time to be alive. Our kids who are growing up with this don't know any different. This is just the way it is. And it's not going away. Some people are using Social Media in stealth mode, meaning they're observing and not engaging in online conversations. Actually, stealth mode is a very powerful tool in your bag when you're keeping tabs on your competition and watching what people are talking about. This information can be very valuable to you if you're thinking about launching a business or introducing a new product or service. But don't forget the social in Social Media. Many people are hiding behind their computers. I've heard it said that this is a very lonely …
Little Things are Indicators of Bigger Things
UPFRONT DISCLAIMER: Kevin Knebl is not a psychologist. The information in this post is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This information is provided for your general information only. Kevin Knebl does not give medical or psychological advice or engage in the practice of psychology or medicine. Kevin Knebl under no circumstances recommends particular treatment for specific individuals and in all cases recommends that you consult your physician or local treatment center before pursuing any course of treatment. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk. We all do certain things on a daily basis that enable us to make a living and enjoy our lives. There are also many things that we do on a daily basis that may not be serving us very well. Let’s talk about these unproductive things briefly in the hope of reducing …