Make People Happy

I appreciate the Harvard Business Review, The Wall Street Journal and the other 900 lb gorillas in the world of business credibility. They have a lot of valuable content that can help people with their businesses. But sometimes we get too technical in terms of trying to succeed.

An interesting thing happens when you’re in business for a while and you ponder from time to time on what makes people and their companies successful. I sometimes have an annoying habit of reducing things to the absurd. So here’s one of my absurd reductions: successful people and businesses make people happy.

At first glance this may sound obvious…but it’s not. Think of some of your recent interactions in stores, online and with people in a position to serve you in some way. Everything they do should be focused on making you as happy as possible. Did they?

Making people happy isn’t that hard. Smile and sincerely appreciate them. Do what you say you’re going to do when you say that you’re going to do it. Under-promise and over-deliver. Go above and beyond because you value your customers.

Don’t sweat it if you don’t have any letters after your name. You don’t need any. Concentrate on making sure that every interaction with another person is as delightful as possible. Make people happy. Happy people come back. Happy people tell their friends about you. Happy people are a pleasure to be with. And what you give out comes back to you. Making people happy makes you happy. Nice how that works, huh?

 

Just Start

I think that one of the unintended consequences of information overload is that we tend to think that we have to get all our ducks in a row, all our “t”s crossed and our “i”s dotted, and every other preparedness cliché in order before we can start something.

Don’t buy into it. The people who get things done are the ones who take massive determined action. Massive determined, well thought out action is nice, but not a prerequisite.

Goethe said, “Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” He was right. More than likely, a year from now you’ll wish you had started something.

Don’t worry about how to get from A to Z. Head for B and C will reveal itself. Take a small step. One step leads to another and then another. Don’t even worry about how it’s all gonna work out. It will. Just start.

 

Offer to Help Those Looking at Your LinkedIn Profile

One of the neat features of LinkedIn is the ability to see who’s looking at your profile. There are some limitations to this, but it can be a valuable tool if you use it correctly.

It will serve you well to take a minute every morning to see who has been checking you out. How about sending them a message like, “Hi Mary, I noticed that you were looking at my profile. Thanks for taking a few minutes out of your busy day to check me out. How may I serve you in some way? I always seek to add value to all my personal and professional relationships. I’d love to help you in some way. Make me prove it. Kev :)”

Now, you may be thinking, “Really? You would type something like that?” Word for friggin word, my friend. And “friggin” isn’t a cuss word, it’s a New Jersey term of endearment.

People are seeking authenticity. Instead of pretending that eight-hundred pound elephant isn’t in the room, run up to it and hug it. They must have been looking at your profile for some reason. Let’s not pretend it didn’t happen.

Huge doors of opportunity swing on tiny hinges. Offer to help people. All the time. Those who serve the most lead the happiest and most profitable lives. It’s your time to shine.

2

Speak Their Language

Remember that everyone has “WIIFM” written on their forehead in invisible ink. WIIFM stand for “What’s in it for me?”

I just returned from a speaking engagement for a multi-billion dollar financial services firm. They’re one of my favorite clients and I’ve been blessed to meet some amazing people there and they’ve introduced me to many other amazing people.

I was speaking on using Social Media as a tool to add value to client and potential client relationships. There was a very savvy businessman there who said that he’s not active on any SM platforms and that he’s had many people try to get him on SM platforms.

He and I shared a limo ride to the airport after my presentation. He very kindly said to me that no one had ever presented this content in a way that compelled him to participate, but that he was going to now. I’m sure someone must have, so maybe the other folks loosened up the jar and I just happened to be there to take the lid off.

He said that most of the presentations he has already seen were very technical in nature and that most of the presenters appeared to just be trying to show how smart they were. This is a very important point.

As we share with people, it’s important that we get our ego’s out of the way. We are there to serve. That’s it. We’re not there to impress people. We’re not there to hope that someone in the audience will hire us. We’re there to serve. When we do that with a sincere, authentic and transparent spirit, everything else will fall into place.

People need help. Help them. Remember that they have WIIFM written on their foreheads and focus on answering that unasked question in every communication with them. Don’t get distracted. Focus on them and serve them. Speak their language and they’ll understand you and your value to them.

KISS: Keep It Simple Sweetie

Most people are super busy and don’t have the time to try to read minds. As you’re conveying information and value to your prospects, clients, and referral sources, remember that people want content in an easily digestible format.

Many people try to impress others by attempting to look smart when they’re sharing information. Don’t do this. Keep it simple. Don’t worry about how they perceive you. Their opinion of you is none of your business.

What does KISS stand for? Most folks will say, “Keep it simple stupid.” I disagree. It stands for “Keep it simple sweetie.” Oh, the difference one word makes.

Always take the high road. Keep it positive. Convey information and value in simple ways. Ironically, the easier it is for people to understand you the more likely you will develop more “Know-Like-Trust” relationships. And that is sweet. Sweetie.

2

Professionals Promote Others; Amateurs Don’t

In a world full of “buy my product, buy my product” kind of messages, it’s nice to hear someone promoting somebody else. This is not common and differentiates the great networker from the amateur. It also says a lot about the character of the promoter. When someone is only thinking about themselves and their business, they tend to see every human interaction as an opportunity to promote themselves and their business. When someone is interested in others’ success in addition to their own, they find opportunities to spread the wealth.

In keeping with Bob Burg’s maxim: “All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to those people they know, like, and trust”, it serves us well to promote others who we feel are worthy of promotion. But don’t do it from the perspective of the promoted person then “owing you”. That would be insincere and manipulative and what goes around comes around. Do it because you don’t operate from the perspective of a limited-sum game. Realize that there are not limited slices of the pie, the pie just keeps getting bigger.

This is very important to understand and will influence many decisions you make in life and business. When we come from a perspective of abundance, we don’t worry about competition as much as we think about value. Reread that. Yes, competition exists. But value trumps it. Always be adding value to everyone.

Promoting people is adding value. And it says a lot about you. If you know someone who you feel should be better known, talk about them. Promote them. There will be time to talk about yourself. Speaking well of others will actually let the listener know that you’re a person to be listened to. And you will be when the time is right. Spread the love. In a more and more interconnected, over-caffeinated, hyper-competitive, Crackberry/Blackberry, Mach 5 with your receding hairline on fire world, what goes around comes around. Literally at the speed of light.

Spread the love. It’ll come back.

 

People Skills Beat Computer Skills…Only Every Time

Some people still tell me, “I’ll get connected to everyone and their brother on Social Media sites and the clouds will part and the money will fall out of heaven.”  They don’t say it in those exact words, but their intentions are clear.  They think that the number of connections, friends and followers they have is an indication of their future income.

Actually, it’s only a representation of the possibility of their future income.  And if I may be so bold, let’s take the income equation off the table.  Because if you add enough value to your connections, friends and followers then and only then will you be in a position to derive a steady income as a result of effective networking.  If connecting to a ton of people guarantees riches, shouldn’t everyone with a phone book be a millionaire?  Exactly.

Study people skills.  Break out your “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and become a black belt in relationships.  This is the irony of Social Networking.  No matter how many people you connect with, you can’t outrun your character.  People crave authenticity.  People are tired of the sales pitches.  I know that I am.

When the Social Media new car smell wears off…and it will wear off…the sharper folks will have figured out that everything’s changed and nothing’s changed.  Yes, we now have the ability to connect with far more people than ever before and in a more laser-like fashion, but at the end of the day nothing’s changed.

Because regardless of how sophisticated technology gets, people are people.  And all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust.  Only every time.

Yes, learn the bells and whistles of the Social Networking sites.  But double down on people skills.  Do this and you will never worry about your next job, where to find clients and how to add value to every relationship you have.  And that is a fun and profitable way to live.

 

6

Giving versus Getting

I’m rereading “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann.  I read this book when it came out a few years ago and wrote a review of it in one of my newsletters a few years back.  What a gem of a book.  I can’t recommend this masterpiece enough.

The premise of the book is that shifting your focus from getting to giving is not only a nice way to live life and conduct business, but a very profitable way as well.  This flies straight in the face of what modern society often tells us.  Modern society is wrong.

I once heard a very wise and wealthy man say “Watch what 95% of the people are doing and do just the opposite.”  I believe he was spot on.  Isn’t it funny how the most important things in life are paradoxes?  The paradox is that the more you give the more you get.

But that’s not the primary reason for giving.  The results you get are just the thunder to giving’s lightning.  Give because you are abundant.  Give because it’s the right thing to do.  Give because people need your help.  Give because you are blessed and in turn are a blessing to others.  Give because you don’t believe that life is a limited sum game.  There is no pie with a set number of slices.  The pie just keeps getting bigger.

Whatever you want more of, give.  Money, attention, respect, appreciation, gratitude, love and everything wonderful operates by this principle.  And if you believe this and operate by this principle you have all the evidence to prove it.  And if you don’t believe this principle and don’t live by it, you have all the evidence to prove that also.

Remember that regardless of your profession or calling, you’re in the business of touching lives.  Give yourself away and the world will provide for you in ways you can’t even yet imagine.

I’d love to hear how giving has impacted your life.  How do you implement giving into your daily routine?  I’d love to hear your stories.  🙂

4

The “Three Foot Rule”

Many people think they have to have letters like “M.B.A” or “Ph.D” after their name in order to succeed.  Now, I’m not putting down higher education, but there are some very simple things that we can do to increase our chances of success.  One of them is developing a “Three Foot Rule”.

This is probably the easiest and most profitable habit you’ll ever start.  And by profitable, I don’t just mean financial profit, although that’s certainly there.  I mean happiness profit.  I mean piece of mind profit.  I mean joy profit.

Starting right now, whenever someone comes within three feet of you, smile at them.  That’s it.  Seminar over.  You may have been expecting something more complicated than that.  If you were, you, like me, were taught that life is complicated.  We were duped.

Life is easy.  Taxes are complicated.  Trigonometry is complicated.  Dealing with a jackass boss who has the leadership skills of Attila the Hun is complicated.  Life is easy.  Life just is.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all group hug, warm and fuzzy with you.

We all are so much more alike than different.  We want to be appreciated, respected, loved and we want to have fun.  A smile starts each of those things.  Smile at people.  Not a weird smile.  Just a sincere “I hope you’re having a nice day” kind of smile.

It may go nowhere, and that’s okay because you don’t have some ulterior motive for smiling.  You’re just acknowledging people.  Few people do this.  You’re letting people know that you’re aware that you’re sharing the same space.  You’re respecting them.

If a conversation starts, great.  If not, that’s fine, also.  Do this for the next thirty days.  And then sixty days and then ninety days.  This is a life habit that will serve you well.  I bet that if you and I reconnect a few years or a few decades down the road, we’ll be able to tell each other some amazing stories of friends we’ve made, people we’ve comforted and lives we’ve touched.  And that’s worth the small effort of a smile.

And make sure you’re doing this on Social Networking sites, also.  Take the extra second to connect with the people on the other end of your screen.  Let them know that you’re friendly.  You can’t see it through your screen, but I’m smiling at you.  We’re within three feet of each other right now.  🙂

 

Photo by Nicola Albertini

2

There’s Nothing To Fear

Have you ever thought about fear?  I’ve always been someone who listens closely to people (although my wife may sometimes argue this isn’t accurate) and lately I have been listening very closely to people as they discuss the economy, the job market, the difficulty of current selling and a number of other topics.

I’ve believed for many years that most people communicate from a position of fear most the time and don’t even know that they’re doing it.  It’s the whole “the fish doesn’t know that it’s wet” thing.  If you could go underwater and ask a fish what’s water like, the fish would look at you and say “what’s water?”  They’re born in it, they live in it and they die in it.  They don’t know any different.  Probably the only time that a fish even knows that water exists is when you take it out of the water.  I bet the fish knows something has dramatically changed at that moment.

We live in such a negative, fear-motivated society that most people have no clue that they are making most of their decisions from the perspective of fear.  Even bringing this up with them will get you the “what are you…a psychologist?” look.

Here’s my suggestion: for the next week notice your speech.  Closely watch yours and everyone else’s words.  And then take it a step further and really hear the message behind yours and everyone else’s words.  It may be difficult at first, but I’ll bet you start to notice that there’s a lot of hesitancy and fear going on out there.

Now here’s my next suggestion: just observe this and then choose not to participate in the fear.  It is a choice.  We have never lived in a more amazing time than this.  With all these modern communication channels available to us and our already existent people skills and concern for others, we are mosquitos in a nudist colony.  There’s a visual.

We are surrounded by a never-ending array of opportunities to pay-it-forward and to help others.  I’m not saying that you should become Mother Teresa or Gandhi, but I am suggesting that you remember that in a more and more interconnected world it serves us well to help others.  What goes around comes around.  Only much faster in our high-speed, wifi world.  Both the good and the bad.

Sometimes I call the internet “karma”.  What you put out, comes back.  And what you focus on, you see more of.  Notice the fear and choose not to participate.  There’s never been an easier time to be positive because so few people are doing it.  You’ve never had a more opportune time to rise up above the crowd.  It takes so little to be above average.  This is your time to shine.

Click The “Like” Button

Everyday I read on Facebook about people being pregnant and people having babies.  And I read about wars and rumors of wars and all the other “end of days” stuff that people refer to when things like the tsunami in Japan occur.  At any given moment someone is experiencing amazing pain in their life and someone else is experiencing amazing joy in their life.

It’s interesting to watch the cross-section of humanity on Facebook.  You get an intriguing view into people’s lives.  You see happiness, pain, agony, loss, joy, bliss and every other human emotion.  And as compassionate beings, we tend to relate to these Facebook Friends.

When someone you care about is going through something awful or when they are celebrating one of life’s great moments, you can observe, even if only from a distance.  That’s nice.  What’s even nicer is that we can let the other person know that we care about their pain and that we care about their joy.

I think that to not engage with people is to miss one of the most important values of Facebook.  Don’t just be a voyeur.  Let people know that you care.  You do care.  If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be watching what people are posting on their Walls and in their Photo Albums.  So, instead of just being a spectator, let people know that you are thinking about them.  Click the “Like” button below their post, link, or photo.  Add a comment or two.  Spread the love.  You’ll be glad you did.  And so will they.

Enjoy The Social Media New Car Smell, Then Drive Like A Pro

When you buy a new car, there’s just something about that new car smell.  You just enjoy opening up the door and settling into your plush seat and breathing in that odor.  After a few years, you don’t really want to take too many whiffs of your old “new” car.  And at that point you’re more concerned about your car getting you from Point A to Point B and keeping the repair costs down.  It’s about the driving, not the smelling.

When you’re just starting to realize what you can do with Social Media, you enjoy turning on your computer, BlackBerry, iPhone, whatever, and checking into Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube and whatever other Social Media sites you participate on.  It’s the equivalent of the Social Media new car smell.  After you’ve learned some about Social Media, the new car smell wears off a bit.  Not completely, because they’re always creating new sites and new apps, but a bit.

And, I’m predicting that if you haven’t figured it out already, you will eventually figure out that it’s all about relationships.  How to build and enhance relationships.  It always has been and it always will be.  Relationships with your prospects, clients, friends, family, whoever.  Only if you want to succeed and have satisfaction in life.  I’m aware that that sounds very idealistic.  It’s not.  It’s as true as gravity.  People do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.  Effectively using Social Media gives you the ability to create “Know, Like, Trust” relationships on a level that we couldn’t even have dreamed of not too many years ago.

So, are you breathing in deeply that new car smell, or are you smelling it in the background while you drive like a pro?  And by drive like a pro, I mean are you building and enhancing your relationships with all those Friends on Facebook, Connections on LinkedIn and Followers on Twitter?  Enjoy the smell for a little while when you get the car, but after that it’s all about driving well.

Our Parents Were Right

Remember the things we used to hear from our parents when we were kids, “Say please. Say thank you. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.  If you keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that.”  Well. maybe you didn’t hear that last one in your house.

Our folks were right.  Common courtesy ain’t so common any more.  Matter of fact, it’s often as rare as a Kardashian sister using her library card.  Common courtesy makes human interaction go so much more smoothly.  It’s amazing to see what happens in conversations when we actually say please, thank you and apologize when we need to.

I bring this up because on Social Media platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter it’s very common to see people telling you that you should “Like” their Fan Page, or retweet their tweets on Twitter.  Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like I’m being told what to do – and I don’t like that.  And I’m guessing that you don’t like being told what to do either.

I believe that these folks would get a much better response if they were to ask politely and use words like please and thank you.  Some will read this and think, “Kev, you such a softie.  That’s not how the world works.”  These are the people who need this message the most.  They just don’t know it.  And they have all the evidence to prove that they don’t know it.

Remember the things that our parents told us.  Say please.  Say thank you.  Don’t say anything if you don’t have something nice to say.  It’s the right thing to do, and ironically, it actually helps you accomplish your goals much faster at the same time.  Thank you.

5

Pick Up The Phone And Call Your Social Media Connections

When you’re new to learning about Social Media, the tendency is to focus on huge numbers of Connections, Friends and Followers.  This is normal.  We all like things that look impressive and big numbers look impressive.  Prior to Facebook, where else could you have thousands of “friends”?  It feeds our ego.

Once the new car smell of Social Media wears off, we realize that building relationships is far more powerful than just adding more connections.  Yes, adding connections is important.  But you already have a phone book with tens of thousands of connections.  If it was just about connections, you already have more than enough in your Yellow and White Pages.

Are you “connecting” with your Social Media connections?  Really connecting?  For one week, schedule 20 minutes into your day to pick up the phone and call two of your new connections per day.  If their phone number isn’t on their LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter profile, or on their website, send them a message asking for their number stating that you’d lie to chat with them for a few minutes.

Spend ten minutes getting to know your connections.  I’ll bet you’re the only person who’s taken the time to do this.  Don’t try to sell them something.  Find out who they are, what they do and ask if there’s some way in which you can help them or refer someone to them.  After they pick themselves up off the floor thank them for the conversation.  That’s it.  Build relationships.  When was the last time one of your new Social Media connections called you and took a sincere interest in you?  It takes so little to be above average that it’s truly incredible that more people don’t do it.  Forget strategies; invest in people.  People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

1

Social Media Reveals Your Character

As I’ve spoken on stages all over for years on Social Media, there is something that I’ve observed countless times.  Many people seem to think that if they can just gather a bajillion connections on Social Media sites, then the clouds will part and the money will fall out of the heavens.  This thought actually reveals far more about these people than they probably even realize about themselves.  It reveals that they think of people as commodities and they have a lottery mentality regarding wealth.  How naive.

However we are offline, we are probably the same way online, because we can’t outrun our character.  No matter where we go, there we are.  You can tell a heck of a lot about someone by looking at their Social Media profiles, just like you can tell a lot about them if you chat with them at a networking event.  If all they do is talk about themselves, they’re only thinking of themselves.  You don’t need a psychology degree to figure that one out.

As you’re using Social Media, ask people about themselves.  Find out about them and be genuinely interested in them as people, not prospects, shills, dollar signs, etc.  This may take some major personality redesign for some people, but it’s worth the effort.  All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust. People aren’t stupid and they know if someone is being authentic with them.  The paradox is that so many people are trying to figure out clever ways to accomplish things when in reality, authenticity and transparency usually accomplishes things much faster than guile.

You can’t hide who you are, how you think and what you consider valuable for long in the online world.  Social Media forces transparency.  Realize this and seek to add value to everyone.  When people know that you care about them, everything changes.  Stimulate conversation not a monologue.  Initiate relationships.  The world is getting smaller.  Build a community of people you care about and people will care about you.  A simple but radical thought, huh?

1

Lighten Up

Have you noticed that with all these new communication technologies that some people are being very serious?  Communication technologies such as a pencil, two cans with a string, a cell phone or the internet always reveal the person who is using them.  Our thoughts, ideas and feelings pass through them, but we are not the technology.

Many people are constantly talking about the tools.  Yes, they are amazing.  But what is transmitted through them is the message.  And I’m finding that people’s messages are often quite heavy.  I propose that folks lighten up a bit.  Being professional and having a personality are not mutually exclusive.  When you’re professional and aren’t afraid to inject your personality into business conversations, things become much more fun for everyone involved.

Adults are kids with long, hairy legs.  If you’re disagreeing with me, you’ve really lost touch with who you are.  One of the beautiful things about getting older is that you don’t lose any of the ages you’ve already been.  Get your work done, but keep it light.  You will become a magnet for other people.  And that’s a good reason to do it, but the best reason is because it’s fun and who you are.  Everyone wants to have fun.  Everyone.

Make sure that you’re laughing every day.  Make other people laugh every day.  If you’re a left-brain, anal retentive, Type A personality, schedule some friggin’ fun time into your schedule.  And friggin’ isn’t a swear; it’s a Jersey form of endearment.  If the friggin’ thing offended you, this post is for you.  Are you getting it?

We’re all so much more alike than different.  We want to be appreciated, love, respected and we want to be happy.  Just for kicks, ask the next person you speak with, “What makes you happy?”  And then ask them why.  You may have the best conversation with someone that you’ve had in a long time.  Lighten up.  People have enough seriousness in their lives.  Be a breath of fresh air.

Three Things We’ve Learned About Social Media From The Middle East

I was going to write this post two weeks ago, but decided to wait.  As I am writing this, Gaddafi has fled Libya and his whereabouts are still unknown.  These are amazing times we’re living in.  For years, I have been telling my audiences that in a more and more interconnected world, Social Media is forcing transparency.  This is being proven out right in front of our eyes.

If you’re good at what you do and seek to add value to your employer, clients, co-workers or whoever, there have never been easier ways for that message to get out.  If you’re a horrible manager, boss, team leader, dictator, or whatever, there have never been easier ways for that message to get out either.

So here are three things we’ve learned from Social Media in the Middle East:

1. It’s Getting Harder To Hide From The Truth

There was a time not that long ago when you could control people by controlling the information they received.  Those days are over.  Technologies like Facebook and Twitter have given anyone anywhere with a cell phone access to the same level of information that previously only traditional media companies typically had.

2.   Ignoring People Will Catch Up With You

It is amazing to see how as people start to revolt, many old-school dictators think they can just ignore their people.  The ironic thing is that the uprisings usually start as simple requests for communication.  And the dictators just ignore the people and act as if there is nothing going on.  Common (uncommon) courtesy says that if someone is trying to communicate with you, you should acknowledge them and reply.  Ignore people at your peril.

3. You Can’t Outrun Your Character

No matter where you go, there you are.  In the 90’s it was all about the “spin doctors”.  Those folks who could spin information and make a croissant out of a turd.  And they were good at it.  Buh bye, spin doctors.  With so much access to information nowadays, trying to sugarcoat something and pretend that it’s something else is a strategy that’s doomed to fail. It may work in the short term (and in this modern age, that short term is getting massively shorter), but it will never work in the long term.  However you are, it will be exposed – good or bad.

Social Media is a communication tool.  The most amazing communication tool ever invented so far.  Imagine if everyone in the world spoke the same language.  How many good things would happen just by being about to communicate with no interpretation challenges.  We’re getting there.  Yes, there are different languages, but Social Media is bringing those walls down.

The walls are coming down because even if we speak different languages, we all are so much more alike than different.  We all want to be respected, loved and appreciated.  Large numbers of people around the world are now seeing how free societies operate and they want in.  Once they get a taste of freedom and the opportunity to express themselves, you can’t put that genie back in the bottle.

This is a topic that’s close to my heart and I’ll write more blog posts about it.  In the meantime, watch how things are playing out.  Future generations will look back at these days as pivotal to world events.

In Sales, Seek To Help And Earn The Relationship

As more and more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media to help grow their sales, it serves us well to remember some of the basics of effective selling.  The best salespeople seek to help.  That may sound obvious, but it’s not.  So many salespeople are trying to sell what they have to everyone instead of being targeted in their selling efforts.

It makes more sense to find people who are interested in your product and service and help them.  Social Media allows you to do this.  You can observe discussion threads in LinkedIn Groups, you can follow conversations regarding Twitter hashtags, and you can see interactions on Facebook Fan Pages.  These are all valuable sources of sales leads.  Learn to skim information and identify places where you can help.  And help doesn’t mean, “Buy my product, buy my product.”

Just remember not to kiss on the first date.  Rushing into a park of starving birds and throwing food at them like a madman will just scare them away.  Walking into the park slowly and letting them acknowledge that you’re there and then dropping a few crumbs on the ground will have them eating out of your hand in short order.

Listen.  And then look for as many opportunities to help as you can.  That can mean referring them to someone you know who may be able to help them in some way.  Just offering to help sometimes opens up ideas from people that you wouldn’t have thought of. And having people see that you’re willing to help can really pay off for you.  This isn’t about trying to look like a Gandhi or Mother Teresa.  It’s about humanizing the web and letting people know that you care about them and then backing it up.

And those who serve, deserve.  Or your could say that those who serve, reserve.  As in re-serve.  Meaning they are served in return.  As in re-turn.  What we give out returns to us.  The thing to remember is that it starts with you.  Earn the relationship.

When Harry Met Twitter

Remember the scene in “When Harry Met Sally” when Harry and Sally are in their apartments talking on the phone and watching Casablanca and commenting on the actors?  You can probably relate to that scene.  I know that I’ve watched something on the television while talking on the phone with someone else who’s watching the same thing.

This is a great analogy for Twitter.  So many people are still confused about what Twitter is and why it’s interesting.  One of the reasons it’s so interesting is because we can now communicate in real-time with people all over the globe on any of an endless number of topics.

During the Super Bowl, World Series or Golden Globes it’s staggering to watch the volume of tweets (the 140 character messages) that are being sent all over the world.  People are commenting and having a great time discussing things. Imagine if you could have a bar on the side of your television screen with people’s comments being posted.  Actually, this already exists and it’s coming to a TV near you.

There are tools to track this and one of the easiest ways to do this is with the hashtag which means just putting a “#” in front of a word and creating something like #goldenglobes.  By searching on Twitter you can see everyone else who puts this in a tweet.  Talk about drinking from a fire hydrant.

So for those folks who are still wondering why anyone would want to be on Twitter, the answer is communication.  Lots of conversation with lots of people on whatever matters to you.  You can talk with one person or the world.  And that opens up all kinds of valuable collaboration opportunities.  Answer the phone…it’s for you.

Sometimes Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast

As we all become more and more connected, we’re finding that it still takes time to build relationships.  We have the ability to learn tremendous amounts about people from a distance hiding behind our computers.  I’m not talking about stalking here.  Stalking is trying to find out something about someone that they don’t want you to find out about them.  I’m talking about looking at their Social Networking profiles and figuring out who they represent themselves to be and determining if this is someone you’d like to connect with.

We can add connections with lightning-like speed, but relationships still take time, and always will.  Just because you’re connected to everybody and their brother doesn’t mean that you have a relationship with everyone and their brother.  And it doesn’t mean you should have a relationship with everyone and their brother.  You can’t.  There just isn’t enough time in one lifetime.

So we have the ability to determine who we may want to develop a relationship with for any of a number of reasons including finding a job, marketing, sales, dating, common interests, and charity among many others.  The thing to remember is that relationships are give and take in nature and developing that takes time.  Showing appreciation, interest and courtesy are some of the things which make up a relationship and they take time and evidence.

I say evidence because if we don’t have evidence of something we tend to doubt it’s veracity.  And if I’m doubting the veracity of our relationship it may be due to lack of evidence.  This is not a bad thing, it just is what it is.  So take the time to let people know that you’re interested in them as people.  You’re interested in their success.  You’re interested in their goals and dreams.  You’re interested in them as human beings.

This takes a little investment of time and communication.  And there’s the paradox.  We’re connecting at the speed of light, but we “connect” over time.  And in the long run of relationship building, sometimes fast is slow and slow is fast.