In keeping with my recent Dale Carnegie theme, one of the “Carnegie-isms” is “Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.” This is very important in all interpersonal relationships, whether online or offline. We should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. Remember the phrase: “the desire to be important.” It is very significant. Anyone can point out when someone has screwed up. Unfortunately, the only recognition that many people ever get is when they mess up. I suggest that we sneak up and catch people doing something right. Don’t flatter people. Flattery does more harm than good. Appreciation is sincere and flattery is insincere. One comes from the heart out and one comes from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. Think about people’s good points and we won’t have to resort to something as cheap and false as flattery. People aren’t stupid; they …
Why Networking Is Important
Remember the old days (in the last century) when your parents told you to go to school, stay out of trouble, keep your nose clean, study hard, get good grades, get a good job, work there for 40 or 50 years, retire, move to Florida and enjoy the good life? Were you told this like I was? How’s that working out? That may have worked at some point way back in the past, but even ten year olds know that it doesn’t work this way today. Networking has always been a smart thing to do and never more so than today. Especially today. Networking is the cultivating of mutually beneficial, give-and-take, win-win relationships. In a more and more interconnected world it is very smart to build strong networks. The days of working in a silo and not connecting with folks outside of your silo are over. Just look at Social …
Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
Most folks know that I am a bit of a Carneholic. That's a Dale Carnegie-aholic. "Hello, my name is Kev, and I'm a Carneholic." Whether I'm speaking onstage on Online or Offline Networking, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter or anything else (and God knows I fall into some rabbit holes), you can bet your life that at some point in my speaking or training engagement, the Carneholic will emerge. This is because Dale's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has made such a major difference in my life. And not just my life, but a lot of other people's lives also. One of the Carnegie maxims is "Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain". This is profoundly simple wisdom. And something that should be taught to every child from the moment of their birth. We become like the people we associate with whether we're young or old. And most of …
WIIFM
When you're networking remember that everyone has WIIFM written on their forehead in invisible ink. "What's In It For Me?" This is true regardless of the person's age, gender, occupation or anything else. There are some things that we all share in common and this is one of them. There is no subject that is more interesting to each of us than ourselves. So the best networkers remember this and use it to create win-win relationships. Now, let's clarify upfront that we're not talking about manipulation or slickness. Although, if you look up manipulation in the dictionary it means "to handle skillfully". Most of us could use a little more skillful handling although the word "manipulation" is usually used in a negative connotation. So, knowing that people like to talk about themselves, it's not a stretch to realize that the other person is looking for a way for this …
Kick It Up A Notch
Because people can't read minds, we make decisions about the folks that we meet and network based on things like clothes, body language, eye contact and other factors. Of course, we also make decisions based on the other person's credibility as it relates to what kind of work they do. But there is something that a lot of people don't think about when they're networking that they should notice about themselves and others. Enthusiasm. Are we giving the impression that we enjoy the kind of work that we do? Are we giving the impression that we're interested in the other person? Quite often, people don't realize that they are sending mixed signals. Have you ever met the person who says they're excited and you're thinking "Why don't you notify your face?" I meet them from time to time. People are picking up subtle clues all the time as to the …
Twitter for Non-Twits
Do you think that Twitter is just about 13 year olds talking about what they had for lunch and the Jonas Brothers? C'mon, if you're not currently using Twitter, you know you do. If so, you're right. But, that's like saying that the phone is about 13 year olds talking about what they had for lunch and the Jonas Brothers. So, it's not about the phone, it's about the conversation. My suggestion is not to listen to the conversations of 13 year olds, but that's just me. Twitter is the world's best real-time business tool. Now let's agree that anything that is on Twitter (or Facebook or LinkedIn or any other Social Networking site) is open for public review unless certain privacy settings have been set. And if it's private either don't post it or use the privacy settings. So, we're not talking about stalking here, we're talking about common …
Listening Is So Important
We never outgrow the need to have our feelings known and much of the conflict in our lives can be explained by one simple fact: people don’t really listen to each other. In a more and more hyper-paced world we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that we can do more than one thing at a time. The truth is that we just end up doing one thing poorly after another. We’ve gained unparalleled access to information and lost something very important. We’ve lost the habit of concentrating our attention. The simple art of listening isn’t so simple. Take the time to focus and listen to people. Regardless of how much we take it for granted, the importance of listening cannot be overestimated. The gift of our attention and understanding makes other people feel validated and valued. Our ability to listen, and listen well, creates goodwill that comes back to us. …
LinkedIn 101
LinkedIn is the world’s largest and most successful networking site. There are over 70,000,000 people using LinkedIn. The average LinkedIn user is 42 years old and earns $107,000 per year. Not a bad demographic. If you’re working, a LinkedIn profile is a must-have, not a like-to-have. This is because just about all savvy businesspeople go to LinkedIn to do their due diligence in regards to who to do business with, sell to, buy from, etc. This is not about spam or stalking. This is about adding value to every relationship because (and you can write this in stone) “All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they like, know and trust.” My friend Bob Burg came up with that quote back in the early 1990’s and I use it every day all over the world, because it’s as true as gravity. In upcoming newsletters, I …
We Become What We Think About All Day Long (whether we want to or not)
I had a great phone conversation today with an old friend. Remember that technology – the phone? Great tool. Anyway, we were talking about success, goal-setting and things like that. He knows that I read a lot of books on success, psychology, and personal development and he asked if I could distill in one sentence the essence of the many books that I’ve read on these subjects. It didn’t take me long to formulate a sentence. And it’s not originally mine. There’s nothing new under the sun, and everything is just a variation on everything else. So the sentence is “We become what we think about all day long, whether we want to or not.” There have been a lot of other people who have said this in the same or similar wording. James Allen said “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Or was that Jesus? I can’t remember. …