As people are trying to gain more visibility through Social Media, a question I often hear is “How do I get more connections on LinkedIn, likes on Facebook and followers on Twitter?”

I think the problem lies in their question. The question they should be asking is “How do I earn more connections, likes, and followers?”

I can show you how to get a lot of followers very quickly. And you’ll lose them just as quickly. Almost as quickly as you’ll lose your credibility.

Success isn’t something you get. It’s something you earn.

First: add massive value. Second: add massive value. Third: add massive value. Guess what fourth is.

While everyone else is trying to get, invest your time in earning your connections, likes and followers. When you earn them they won’t leave. When you earn them, they want to do business with you. When you earn them, you have relationships. And that’s the holy grail.

We have almost unlimited ways to connect with each other. When you meet someone either personally or professionally do you look to connect with them on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter? I do.

It’s a good habit to start. Then after you connect online, offer to help them in some way. Without an agenda. And not so they can owe you.

There are a lot of people who are out of work for long periods of time, tolerating jobs that they hate, dealing with clients they’d love to fire, and a hundred others types of soul-sucking torture.

The reason they’re living in this situation has nothing to do with the economy, the Democrats, the Republicans, global warming, the Mayan calendar, or any other excuse. It has to do with the fact that most people don’t understand that all things being equal people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.

You’re not Tom Hanks living on an island with a volleyball named Wilson. You’re a mosquito in a nudist colony of opportunity. Be nicer. Be friendlier. Add more value. You’ve never been in a better position to succeed than you are right now.

Those of us who use Twitter a lot are familiar with the hashtag #FF, which stands for Follow Friday. On Fridays, many people tweet #FF followed by the Twitter handles of people they’re recommending that their followers should also follow. Got that? It’s a nice way to pay it forward and drive visibility to people you see value in who your followers may have never heard of.

Don’t think you have to wait for Fridays to promote other people. And don’t think this only has to do with Twitter. Be a “Do It Now” person. If there’s someone you think deserves some recognition, do it now. Sure, wait until Friday to do the whole #FF thing, but don’t be afraid to post something on your Social Media platforms letting people know that you consider this person to be awesome.

The only recognition that many people get in life is when they screw something up. And they usually already know they screwed up and they don’t need someone reminding them of it. Take a different route. Sneak up and catch people doing something right. And then let other people know about it.

Follow Friday is Twitter’s way of paying it forward. Paying it forward on a daily basis whether online or offline is a great habit to develop. And you don’t have to wait until Friday to do it. Spread the love. How will you pay it forward today?

In regards to our bodies, we know that we are what we eat.

In our conversations, we know that what’s in our thoughts eventually comes out of our mouths.

In Social Media, we can’t out-run our character.

You are what you tweet.

On Twitter, are you tweeting things of value that help, inform, educate, and encourage people?

And then are you engaging with those peeps to create mutually beneficial, win-win relationships?

It will serve you well to remember that people have always been able to figure you out by what you say and what you do.

Social Media just allows people to identify the Value Generators much, much more quickly.

Tweet well.

It’s nice to have a lot of Friends on Facebook, Connections on LinkedIn and Followers on Twitter, but don’t let the numbers fool you. Every connection regardless of the Social Media platform is an opportunity to add value to someone and to create a mutually beneficial, win-win relationship.

Many people are “drive-by connecting” with people. They’re just trying to increase their numbers in an egotistical manner. This isn’t everyone by any means, but it’s certainly a lot of people. Just look at the evidence.

A drive-by connection is someone who “friends, connects, or follows” and they’re then off to the Social Media Witness Relocation Program. You never hear from them again. Nothing, nada, bupkiss, goose egg.

When connecting with someone, send them a personal message acknowledging them and asking if you may help them in some way. You may be surprised at some of the wonderful replies you get. Most people are nice if you’re nice to them. And huge doors of opportunities swing on tiny hinges.

Don’t be a drive-by connector. If you’re going to connect with someone, then connect. At least stick your virtual hand out and say hi and offer to start a relationship. The right people will reply and then you’re on your path to many mutually beneficial, win-win relationships. And that’s a sweet way to live.

I’ve been off the road for a little bit and I’ve been getting back to the basics of connecting with people. Even though I speak all over the USA and internationally on a weekly basis on the subjects of Social Media, Networking, Personal Development, and Relationship Building, it’s easy to fall out of the habit of connecting with people like we should.

What if every morning you got up a little earlier and checked in on your LinkedIn account to see who’s changed their photo, updated their profile, started a new job, joined a new group, received a recommendation or any of a ton of other updates that LinkedIn can provide you with. And then what if you sent them a brief personal message congratulating them or at least acknowledging that you’re interested in their success?

What if you also looked at your Facebook account and congratulated your friends on their birthdays, acknowledged their kids’ achievements, liked their pictures, and engaged in conversations with them?

And what if you looked at your Twitter account and took a few minutes to find some new interesting people to follow? What if you sent a few direct messages to the people you’re following letting them know that you appreciate them? What if you retweeted some of their tweets and gave them more visibility out in the Twittersphere?

These are very good practices to get into. And they’re profitable. Let me be very clear here: you don’t do these things so that people will owe you or because you have some ulterior motive like bugging the crap out of people so that hopefully they’ll buy from you or hire you. You do it because it’s the right thing to do. And ironically, the money and the opportunities show up. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust.

What are you doing to develop your “Know-Like-Trust Factor”? Get back to the basics. Invest a little time everyday in your relationships. You’ll be so glad that you did.

Success in Social Media and success in relationships doesn’t just happen. Success requires some work. And Social Media and relationships have a lot in common. That’s probably because they’re the same thing.

Having success in Social Media means understanding that it’s not about technology, it’s about relationships. You don’t need to be an expert transmission repair specialist in order to drive a car and you don’t need to be a “Social Media Guru” in order to have success in Social Media.

Investing a little time on a daily basis in your Social Media efforts and in your relationships produce massive results over time. Updating your LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter statuses on a regular basis let people know that you’re still there. Kinda like a relationship. If you don’t let the people you care about know that you care about them, they tend to go away.

Touch the people you’re connected to, whether you’re connected to them online or offline. It really takes so little effort. Let people know that you’re thinking about them and that they matter to you. Do this on a consistent basis, and it no longer is work, but a joy you look forward to every day. Kinda like a great relationship.

Ever since the earth was cooling, the best form of credibility has been word of mouth. We do business with and refer business to people we know, like and trust. This is as natural as gravity.

Whether it’s 912 AD or 2012 AD, word gets around. When people have good experiences and outcomes after working with you, you develop word of mouth. This is called a reputation.

Prior to Social Media, we had limited ways of showing that we are credible, do a good job, take pride in our work, and have people saying good things about us.

By creating a robust LinkedIn Profile including Recommendations from people who are in a position to endorse you based on your work experience, it’s never been easier to showcase your credibility. Similar displays of credibility can be created on Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media platforms.

The so-called, and often self-professed ‘Social Media Guru’s’ call this evidence ‘Social Proof’ (most people call themselves guru’s because they can’t spell charlatan).

There is nothing new under the sun. Social Proof is a fancy word for reputation. You can’t outrun your character. If you’re cutting corners, doing just enough to not get fired, baiting and switching, leaving a trail of broken promises, and basically not adding much value to the marketplace, you will be found out. Literally at the speed of light known as the internet.

If you’re getting up every morning and starting early, working late, under-promising and over-delivering, and all in all, adding massive value, you will be found out, too. This is a good thing. Leverage the current methods of creating Social Proof and you’ll never worry about your next job, your next client, or your next project. Rock on!

“Do we live in a barn? Wipe your feet!” Ever hear that when you were a kid? I did, because my brothers and I  tramped in mud, leaves and God knows what else into our home. My Mom did a great job of keeping a clean house and didn’t want us messing it up with our carelessness.

Let’s apply that thinking to Social Media. Remember that every human being with a cell phone is effectively a media company. We can transmit Facebook posts, LinkedIn Status Updates, Tweets on Twitter, photos, video and just about anything else around the globe in seconds.

You’re leaving tracks one way or another. Is it mud or is it adding value? Wipe your feet. Leave the mud outside….off the internet and Social Media. Post good things. Add value. Most people have enough mud in their own homes and don’t need yours or mine.

As you’re winding down 2011, I’m sure you’re taking a few minutes to review the year and take stock of how it all panned out. Did you hit your goals? Did you have goals? How did your job or business fare in 2011? Despite the economic tsunami, did you stay afloat or perhaps even thrive?

Think about your professional and personal relationships. How are you doing with the people you work with? Look back at December of 2010 and think of how your professional relationships were then and ask yourself if there’s been any change between then and now? Is it for the better or worse? There is no status quo in relationships.

How about your personal relationships? How’s it going with your spouse, kids, relatives, and friends? Take a minute and ask yourself if these relationships are getting stronger or are they getting weaker? Remember that kids often spell love as “time.” And spouses are kids with long, hairy legs.

Regardless of how 2011 worked out for you, give thanks. We have a lot to be thankful for. Our health, families, country, and many other things should be on our thankful list. I’ve always thought that it’s nice that Thanksgiving and Christmas come so close together. And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, insert your holiday of choice. This season is the perfect time to give thanks, spread the love, and to celebrate.

In the holiday season, we’re used to giving gifts. So let’s take that spirit to our interactions on Social Media platforms. During the month of December, set a goal to invest ten minutes every morning giving gifts. Gifts that cost you nothing. Gifts that touch people and make them feel better. Gifts of appreciation.

Get your morning cup of coffee and plop down in front of your computer and pull up Facebook. Go to your home page and see who is having a birthday today. Post a birthday message on their Wall. If you’d like to post something cool for them, feel free to go to my Wall and copy and paste the birthday greeting that I send people every day. I’m at www.facebook.com/kevinjknebl and if we’re not already friends, feel free to “friend me.” See what’s going on in your Facebook friends’ lives and click the “Like” button or make brief comments on their posts letting them know that you appreciate them. Or just wish them happy holidays. Just be sincere.

Then go on over to LinkedIn and look at the Status Updates of your connections. You can refine the updates to show recent Recommendations, Postings, Pictures, etc. I like seeing who has recently changed their profile picture and sending them a message like “Hey Bob, nice new mug shot. Looking good, bro. Happy holidays, Kev”.  Touch people. People like to know that someone is thinking of them. Spread the holiday love.

Gifts don’t have to come in little blue Tiffany boxes. Gifts don’t have to come with big bows on them like in the Lexus commercials. Often the greatest gifts are the ones that touch our heart. There’s usually a correlation between sincere, inexpensive, unexpected gifts and the recipient’s warmest thoughts for the giver. Take a little time this season to let people know that you’re thinking of them. Don’t try to position them for business in 2012. Don’t you dare mention your business. Just let them know that you care. End 2011 on a warm note with your professional and personal relationships, and you will start 2012 on the right foot. Happy holidays.