High tech is nice, but high touch is everything. It’s great connecting with people on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and many other Social Media platforms.

But when you can, get together face to face. Start a relationship online and then take it offline.

We’re all busier than ever. With all the traveling I do, it’s easy to not see friends face to face for long periods of time. I don’t like that so I decided to start a new tradition in 2012.

Once a month Karin and I host a dinner party at our home for friends and people we’d like to get to know better. Many of the people we’d like to know better we’ve come to know online through Social Media platforms.

I kinda like the 1950′s kinda feel of a dinner party. We have two or three couples and some singles and they bring their kids. I cook a nice meal and we all have some wine, beer, soda or whatever. We play Trivia Pursuit, ping-pong, Wii, Pictionary or something else fun.

Spending time face to face is a lot different than just reading someone’s Facebook updates, and a great way to maintain relationships. What are you doing in 2012 to connect more deeply with the people you enjoy spending time with?

As more people are trying to figure out how to leverage Social Media for their business and personal lives, there are more services that are popping up and attempting to accelerate the process.

One of the services that has been around for some time is Klout, which enables people to generate a form of influence ranking.

That’s all well and good, but I’ll go with time-tested, proven clout.

The dictionary defines clout as, “pull, strong influence”.

Don’t worry about trying to generate clout. Do the right thing. Every time. Do what you say you’re going to do. Under-promise and over-deliver. Get up early and work hard. Add massive value. Pay attention to the little things. Don’t sacrifice long-term success for short-term gain.

Clout is like nature. It will grow in its own time when we follow true success principles.

And don’t worry about what other people think of you. What other people think of you is none of your business. Do the right thing and let the chips fall where they will. And the irony is that any time you spend worrying about your clout is sure to diminish your true clout.

As you’re winding down 2011, I’m sure you’re taking a few minutes to review the year and take stock of how it all panned out. Did you hit your goals? Did you have goals? How did your job or business fare in 2011? Despite the economic tsunami, did you stay afloat or perhaps even thrive?

Think about your professional and personal relationships. How are you doing with the people you work with? Look back at December of 2010 and think of how your professional relationships were then and ask yourself if there’s been any change between then and now? Is it for the better or worse? There is no status quo in relationships.

How about your personal relationships? How’s it going with your spouse, kids, relatives, and friends? Take a minute and ask yourself if these relationships are getting stronger or are they getting weaker? Remember that kids often spell love as “time.” And spouses are kids with long, hairy legs.

Regardless of how 2011 worked out for you, give thanks. We have a lot to be thankful for. Our health, families, country, and many other things should be on our thankful list. I’ve always thought that it’s nice that Thanksgiving and Christmas come so close together. And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, insert your holiday of choice. This season is the perfect time to give thanks, spread the love, and to celebrate.

In the holiday season, we’re used to giving gifts. So let’s take that spirit to our interactions on Social Media platforms. During the month of December, set a goal to invest ten minutes every morning giving gifts. Gifts that cost you nothing. Gifts that touch people and make them feel better. Gifts of appreciation.

Get your morning cup of coffee and plop down in front of your computer and pull up Facebook. Go to your home page and see who is having a birthday today. Post a birthday message on their Wall. If you’d like to post something cool for them, feel free to go to my Wall and copy and paste the birthday greeting that I send people every day. I’m at www.facebook.com/kevinjknebl and if we’re not already friends, feel free to “friend me.” See what’s going on in your Facebook friends’ lives and click the “Like” button or make brief comments on their posts letting them know that you appreciate them. Or just wish them happy holidays. Just be sincere.

Then go on over to LinkedIn and look at the Status Updates of your connections. You can refine the updates to show recent Recommendations, Postings, Pictures, etc. I like seeing who has recently changed their profile picture and sending them a message like “Hey Bob, nice new mug shot. Looking good, bro. Happy holidays, Kev”.  Touch people. People like to know that someone is thinking of them. Spread the holiday love.

Gifts don’t have to come in little blue Tiffany boxes. Gifts don’t have to come with big bows on them like in the Lexus commercials. Often the greatest gifts are the ones that touch our heart. There’s usually a correlation between sincere, inexpensive, unexpected gifts and the recipient’s warmest thoughts for the giver. Take a little time this season to let people know that you’re thinking of them. Don’t try to position them for business in 2012. Don’t you dare mention your business. Just let them know that you care. End 2011 on a warm note with your professional and personal relationships, and you will start 2012 on the right foot. Happy holidays.

Life moves pretty fast and if we really understood the impact that our words and actions have on other people and ultimately on ourselves, we’d probably be a little more selective with the things we say and do.

Every interaction with another person is either a deposit or a withdrawal from that particular relationship. Be smart and make deposits.

Negative comments and attitudes are withdrawals. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought.” I agree with that.

That doesn’t mean that you have to become a superman of positivity and beat yourself up if you have negative thoughts. Everyone has negative thoughts. The question is: do you dwell on it, let it fester and then spread it like a virus, or do you choose to change your thoughts and focus on positive things?

Take this line of thinking to Social Media. Everything you post is also either putting deposits in or taking withdrawals from the relationships you have with folks on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

We all have crap in our lives. And most people have enough crap of their own without needing us throwing ours on them. Post positive, not negative. Spread the love, not the hate.

Long term, nothing good comes from spewing negative. And it’s definitely not a luxury.

Remember that when people think of you, they immediately have a picture and feeling of you based on every interaction they’ve ever had with you.  Give them something good to think about.

On the right-hand side of your LinkedIn homepage is a very interesting button called “Who’s Viewed Your Profile”. Depending on how a person’s LinkedIn settings are configured you can see with some limited visibility who’s been looking at your LinkedIn profile. Huge door of opportunity alert.

Many people spend a lot of mental power trying to think up clever back door ways of doing things and getting people’s attention when they could just walk up to the nine-hundred-pound elephant in the middle of the room and hug it.

I check this LinkedIn feature everyday and send a message to the people who’ve viewed my profile. Here’s my standard message:

“Hi Bob, 

I noticed that you viewed my LinkedIn Profile. 

I’m all about paying-it-forward and adding massive value and I’d like you to make me prove it. 

May I help or serve you in some way? 

To your massive success, 
Kev”

I couldn’t begin to tell you the number of great relationships this has started, speaking and training opportunities booked, and other serendipities that have resulted as a result of me just extending my hand in friendship to people who obviously have some interest in me for some reason.

Make sure you’re making the most of every human interaction. Huge doors of opportunity swing on little, tiny hinges. Hear that creaking? That’s another hinge. And by the way….another word for hinges is relationships.

Sometimes people with a little gray in their hair get nervous about the whole Social Media thing. They tell me that the younger generations are more suited to Social Media and feel that it’s a younger person’s game.

Actually, a younger person may be technologically ahead of their older counterparts, but the older person is in a better position than the young punk.

The younger person may know which buttons to push, which apps to load and so on, but they don’t have the life experience, business acumen or battle scars of the older person. They haven’t had the successes or been kicked in the teeth by life and business, haven’t seen markets rise and fall and have a limited view of the world and business for the simple reason that they just haven’t been around as long.

Folks with some years on them know that long-term business and life success is based on relationships. Learning how to use Social Media most effectively isn’t about being a computer, iPad, iPhone, Blackberry, or gizmo-of-the-month ninja. It’s about gaining a simple working knowledge of how to use modern communication channels to build and enhance mutually beneficial, win-win relationships.

I’ll take folks with a little gray in their hair who are teachable over younger people with electronic addictions any day.

People often ask me, “Kev, how should I be on Social Media?” I get a kick out of that question, because it’s similar to asking me, “Kev, how should I be on the telephone?”

Let’s change the word “on” to “through.” You’re not “on” the telephone anymore than you’re “on” Social Media. You communicating through the telephone and through Social Media.

So my answer to their question is usually, “Be however you would be face to face.” You should be yourself because everyone else is already taken.

The words “authentic” and “transparent” have almost become clichés, but they make sense. People are going to figure out who you are anyway, so you may as well be authentic and transparent.

But even those words are a little too “marketing speak” for me. I like a simpler word. Like “real”.

Be real. Because people will figure out whether you’re real or not very quickly. And don’t worry so much about “getting” real.

Just be real. Really.

Whether online or offline, manners make a difference.  I like to call internet etiquette, “netiquette”.

A habit I learned a long time ago that has served me very well through the years is starting phone conversations with, “Hi John, it’s Kev. Do you have a quick minute or is this a bad time?”

There are very few people who start conversations like this. It’s a huge show of respect to the person whom you’re calling.

Make sure you’re doing the same thing online. Because I often have Facebook running in the background on my computer, people pop up in the chat box all the time and often just launch into conversations.

And sometimes they’re people I don’t know well at all that start conversations with sales pitches. Yikes.

Remember that most people are quite busy. Approach them politely and be respectful of their time. I guarantee you the outcome of your conversation will turn out better when you do.

I’m catching up on some work in a coffee shop between meetings. And a stranger just walked up to me and said, “You look older in person than you do on Facebook and the internet.”

How’s that for an icebreaker? You think I’m gonna forget her? I doubt it.

I smiled and replied, “Thanks. I cram a lot of living into every day.”

Things that our parents and grandparents used to tell us when we were kids are still true. Things like, “You only have one chance to make a first impression.” And, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Whether online or offline, people are people. Remember the things our elders taught us. They make sense.

It’s very hard to go back and make a good first impression. All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust. Don’t make it harder for people to know, like, and trust you by not making a good first impression. Either online or offline. Or both.

If  you think that you have to stay up on every new bell and whistle on every Social Media site, you’re asking for a headache. And lack of sleep. And frustration. And stress.

Most people have enough stress in their lives. They don’t need SMS (Social Media Stress).

It’s the nature of technology to change quickly and without notice.

I tell my audiences that when I get in the morning, one of the first questions I ask is, “What did they change on Facebook while I was sleeping?” And the audience laughs and when they stop laughing I tell them that I was serious.

So relax. This technology stuff is only going to accelerate. Get used to it. Kind of like the way you get used to weather. You observe it, maybe predict it a little, but basically realize there’s not a lot you can do about it, except to buy an umbrella or winter coat.

Realize that Social Media isn’t about technology, it’s about people. Just because you can drive a car doesn’t mean you should be able to fix a transmission. Just because there are a million nuances, functionalities, shiny bells and whistles on every Social Media site doesn’t mean you have to be the master of them all.

Focus on the functions that build and enhance communication and relationships. That’s where you want to live.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.